Harry Potter and The Movie That Shouldn't Have Happened, Ever

Yes, this is a rant about the newest Harry Potter movie, the Half-Blood Prince. Nicknamed The Movie That Shouldn't Have Happened, Ever.

As you also may have concluded, I found the movie... less than satisfactory.
It was shiny and content-free. Cause and effect correlations were ignored and things kept jumping up and then got left there and forgotten. I felt like I was watching a movie made by someone who had the attention span of a 3 year old.

Seriously though, I'm not sure who they made the movie for. Those who didn't read the book probably felt very confused and couldn't follow the movie's plot, since important bits were omitted. Those who read the book are probably as shocked by the liberties taken as I was and hated the movie just as much.

It had almost nothing to do with the book. It had, on the other hand, lots to do with Terminator 2, Lord of the Rings, Superman, Moses and the gods know what else they have incorporated into the movie. And contrary to general belief, fans DO expect the movies made from the books to FOLLOW THE FRIKKIN PLOT written in the books!!! I'm NOT interested in anybody's take of the book's plot. I want the original.

What's so fucking hard in following the original plot, huh?! Are these people mentally defective or something?!

• This movie starts with Harry Potter picking up some random girl in a diner, and he seemed way too much at ease for it to be the first time. Actually, it was implied strongly that he did it often. Since when was our painfully shy little 16 year old Harry Potter a sassy player and a flirt?
  
  
• The book centered around Dumbledore training Harry and Harry trying to find out who the Prince was. There was almost no mention of the Prince and the possibility of the book being sentient and evil. However, in the book version, it was one of the major themes. I missed it immensely.
  
  
• The Weasley house was burned down. WTF?!?!
  
  
• Harry almost killed Draco, but there were NO repercussions. LIKE HELL!
  
  
• There was NO Scrimgeour!!! Completely omitted. Instead of his visit, they had Death Eaters over for dinner who blew up the Weasley residence.
  
  
• Snape never suspected Harry had his book in the first place. He never KNEW Harry had even HEARD of the Half-Blood Prince. Question is: WHY would Snape reveal that he was the Half-Blood Prince?! (Also, it was never mentioned why he called himself that. Non-readers must be so very confused.)
  
  
• Snape creeped up on Harry in the end and didn't even stun him. Harry just cheerfully let Snape go to kill Dumbledore and then let him run off while he just stood there idly. He did run after them after a while tho.
  
  
• There was no epic fight in Hogwarts between Death Eaters and students and order people like in the book. Fenrir never mangled Bill's face and Fleur never made an appearance at all. A major plotline omitted. Instead, we get... Oh right, what do we get? Nothing!! The Deatheaters crash Hogwarts and they do NOTHING!! (Ok, they kill Dumbledore, but they never even kill the aurors who weren't supposed to be there in the first place!!) They never go on a rampage inside Hogwarts. They leave in an orderly manner and simply take a stroll down the hill and enjoy the balmy evening at the countryside!!!
  
  
• Snape waited patiently while Harry caught up with him and then stunned him a few times and that was it. No "No unforgivables from you, Potter!" ever shown.
  
  
• The major kissing scene between Harry and Ginny was left out, actually, she never won the match as the catcher. Ok, there was a kissing scene when she hid the Prince's book for good in the room of requirements, a scene that never happened in the book, for good reason. Agan, WTF?!
  
  
• Remus and Tonks are an item. It just happened without all that drama being ever shown. I mean last time I checked they weren't together. Now Tonks calls Remus Sweetheart. Well, ok, this one was also an interesting plot line, but this one I would have let go, were the others still in there.

And now a few funny things I thought and saw while sitting through the movie:

• The movie was slightly homoerotic. I mean when I heard "Wands yout, Harry!", my mouth twitched. But when my friend poked me and mouthed it back and broke out in hysterics... I knew it wasn't just me. And it wasn't just that. I mean Dumbledore grabbing Harry at ever turn and asking him to take his arm? Hmmm.... Well, I'd rather it be Snape/Harry, but whatever. :)
  
  
• "Gandalf fell into shadow. Was sad to see pointy hat go." Was all I could think of when Dumbledore died. From the hysterical laughter next to me, I'm pretty sure I wasn't alone.
  
  
• And also... When Dumbledore took Harry for a spin, I thougth about the pointy hat trick. Again and again.
  
  
• They stole Superman's hideout for the locket's hiding place.
  
  
• There were multiple Gollums (meant to be the inferi) crawling out of the water in Superman's hideout the cave where the locket was hidden. My friend going "My preciousssss!!!" didn't help either. :)
  
  
• Then Dumbledore played Moses with fire instead of water. Looked pretty, was utterly pointless and stupid. It also looked like a scene from Terminator 2 where the guy walks around in the fire.
  
  
• Whenever I saw Dumbledore in the Astronomy tower with the scenery all around it, it felt like Two Towers all over again.

So... I think this was it. *sigh* Too much money, and a book wasted.