Thanks to my darling chinchilla being a total idiot, I have now been properly acquainted with chinchilla penises.

Why, you ask? Well, this idiot had clogged his weewee with something, probably a mix of bathing dust and his own poo. It was dragging after him, and he had been way too amiable recently so I knew he was sick. Well, his wee-wee couldn't be retracted properly, like it should have been, and it was big and well... a greyish shade of purple. Ewww.

Since my mom got home early, thanks to the thick ice coating the streets (her boss actually sent her and her coworkers all home because paying for the injuries would have cost more), we had ample opportunity to scrutinize poor Merlin's privates and try to figure out what to do.

Obviously, Merlin would have frozen before we got to the doctor, so that was a bad idea. (Not to mention the doc still hasn't gotten back to me with his fur shedding problem after a whole fucking year, although I'm thinking it's probably depression.) So we cleaned off the fur ring, and tried to get that clogging out. We used olive oil on the fur ring and then soapy water to melt the clogging, but the water didn't help, neither did the soap.

By that time we all had touched poor Merlin's weewee, who took it rather stoically, the poor sod. We put him back after a while and studied up on the net and tried to come up with ideas.

That's when I decided we were utter perverts, because I suggested smearing jam over his weewee, so he'll clean himself, like he is supposed to. I mean he loves jam, so... why not?

My mom suggested hanging his weewee into a small cup of wine. We did the latter after my dad came home and told us we need to help the poor sod, asap. So we took off an old perfume bottle's cap, cleaned it, filled it with wine (it wasn't much, really, before someone gets a heart attack, and not the best wine either), and stuck his weewee in. Then, after a while we both took turns in trying to take out the clog (realizing in the middle, that he was able to piss, but not retract his equipment), and then, after a bit of clean up, we stuck it back into the wine. It nearly perfectly retracted, so now we put the poor sod back to his cage to clean himself.

We might rinse, repeat the wine process later on.

Lesson to be learned: don't clog up your penis or you'll get your dick stuck in wine.... or jam. :P