Doctor's visit. I had written a whole post at the mall while I waited for the shops to open and check the sales, but I'm too lazy to type it in now. I might later.

Let it be enough that I was in so much pain while having an ultrasound done because that bitch dug it in so damn much that I couldn't breathe. She called me fat and told me it was my fault she had to dig this deep. I hope she gets back just as much pain. It's evening already and I hurt so much I hope nothing got seriously hurt. She'd have seen it, right? Right?

Anyway, black and blue spots I have, it's sore and painful. I hate that bitch.

Anyway, mall. I restrained myself pretty well. I bought my dad a pair of felted gloves, because he has lost a pair and I had no idea what to get him for his birthday which will be in a few days.

Then I went to an expensive make-up store, because I had time to kill and drool to spare. I looked through stuff wincing at the prices and sad that they have discontinued my fave lipstick when I saw a sale.

I usually prefer Art Deco and Burjois lipstick when I have to look decent. It's not an everyday wear for me because it's way too expensive, although I usually buy stuff during sales. Like today.

So I bought a Bourjois lipstick. It's shiny. Not exactly metallic, like the ones I usually prefer. It doesn't really have a colour (sable fin #2), it's more of a nude colour with a shiny dust inside. Very pretty. And it was on sale too! (See picture. Sadly, you can't see how shiny it is.)

When I got home and checked up on the lipstick, it turned out it also has Shea butter in it, so it's a double win, not to mention that it has a small mirror on the top of the cap, so I won't have to carry a mini mirror with me either. Now I'm thinking of buying the violet colour as well. Although I'm still not sure if that colour would suit me at all. It's just that I love the colour violet very very much. ><

I also got myself a thin, 50cm long silver necklace, a double link chain. Very pretty, very elegant and it was 60% off. It also has a warranty, not to mention a handsome little jewelry box! Somehow, sometimes it's nice when you get money from your family to buy your own Christmas presents at the after Christmas sales. Thanks for the necklace and the lipstick grandma and grandpa. ^^

"The heart dies a slow death,
shedding each hope like leaves.
Until one day there are none.
No hopes.
Nothing remains."

Anyway.
I've watched The Memoirs of a Geisha. It left me wanting. To kill someone.

I'm not an otaku, or at least I don't think I am. I know little details of other cultures, so it's not like I have a select country I'm too much into. (And I know much more about English-speaking countries, so it's a moot point.) But what they did to geisha... it's a bloody massacre.

First and foremost the geisha, most of the pretty ones were played by Chinese actresses. WTF?! Geisha are Japanese and should be played by Japanese. I do not care how pretty and awesome the Chinese actresses are, this is a movie about Japan and geisha for god's sake! No offense, but I believe that was one of the two biggest, most horrid of flaws of this abomination of a movie.

Second: Geisha are not whores. They don't sell their virginity. They don't sell sex. With this ritual of selling a geisha's virginity to the highest bidder in the abomination, they made the geisha look like common prostitutes. In Japanese culture there is a definite distinction between the geisha and the prostitutes. Geisha are companions, they are educated in many things, music, literature, dance, etc. They are not to be slept with, ever. Prostitutes (well, some of them) do doll themselves up to look like geisha, but they do sleep with the customers. Also, their obi is tied on the front, and for the geisha it's tied on the back.

I do not have a geisha fetish. I think their make-up looks silly and the hairstyles are not to my liking either, but I do have a sort of "wow, that's nice" feeling for them. They are educated women and not whores. That I do like. And that is what the movie sullied and got dead wrong.

Therefore I understand completely why the Asian reception was so bad. Not to mention, that the protagonist geisha had such a sour expression on her face most of the time I have no idea why the scarred faced guy even bothered with the wench. Customers do not like a sour face, ever. This would have been the worst disaster if it really happened. Personally, I'd have slapped her a few times just to make sure she had something to be sour-faced about. Jesus, what horrid customer-service!

What else... Oh yeah. I wonder how the "Mother" had such fine hair at that age. They kinda forgot that geisha, due to that amount of wax and hair twisting and pulling develop a bald spot after a while, so older geisha are bald at the top of their head. I sure as hell wouldn't be able to make such fine and elaborate bun for the retired geisha from the hair that would have remained at her age.

Also, visuals could have been much better. It lacked in both visuals and storyline, not to mention the big pile of crap it deposited on Japan and geisha in general. It was the American Dream rearing its ugly head in Japan of all places. Shoot that movie dead to get it out of it's misery.

Give me absolute control
over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby,
that's an order!

In retrospect, this has been probably my best Christmas ever. In a few years anyway. If I fail to recall the pain.

I mean I had peace and quiet, nobody bugged me much, I could sleep whenever I wanted and I didn't have to visit relatives, the biggest plus ever.

The downside? On wednesday, as in Dec 23 I fell sick. My mom gave me her virus, and while she coughed, I had a very sore throat with yellow spots. On the 24th I felt like dying. On the 25th we went to the ER and got some meds.

The sad thing is, that when I went out to watch Avatar it was -10°C. Next day it was 10°C. After that, 18,5°C. By then I was seriously ill. I just missed the good weather because I got sick. ><

Although it was so nice to open the shutters and let the sunshine in and sleep all day yesterday. I have forgotten how nice it is to sleep in sunshine. I think it lifted my mood enough and I feel better. Not much better, but I'll have enough strength (hopefully) to be able to go to my appointment at the doc on the 29th.

Note to anybody who might ask me: no, I'm not fully recovered, please do not plan on asking me to a new year's party. I will be safely tucked away under covers this new year's again.

Avatar

I enjoyed it. I actually did, even though I saw it in 3D and it was blurry and for 2 hours I felt like throwing up. Motion sickness. Never again 3D movies, thanks.

The plot was reused and even though most of the time I could tell with almost pinpoint accuracy what would happen, I didn't care, because I enjoyed the movie. The visuals were top notch and simply awesome.

And here there be spoilers.

Because I had some issues with Avatar. Observations, mostly. Here is the list of plot holes, minor annoyances, wtfs.

• The avatars are grown as a whole errr... person. How come they are full navii/human hybrids and vegetables from the beginning?
  
  
• No press. I would expect tons of reporters and whatnot to camp out next to the base to document what is going on. I mean if that mineral is so important, how come nobody is writing about it? I mean the boss is deadly afraid of the press but there is no press. At all.
  
  
• The Na'vii accept err... Jake. Sure, there are these "signs", but surely nobody ever would embrace an enemy like that. Oh well. Had to be done for the good of the movie.
  
  
• Alien sex. Apparently they do it the same old way we do. What a killjoy.
  
  
• Those connector thingies that come out of the tip of their braids. What the hell are those and how come they are universal and fit everything? It's kinda disconcerting, not to mention how come they are in their braids. Or are they braids at all? Anyway, it'd be more believable that they have sex with the help of those thingies than the usual way. Oh well.
  
  
• It's rather convenient that the Na'vii can transport the consciousness of Jake, our hero,into his avatar. Oh well. The hero gets his happy end... and the girl.
  
  
• I had a vague Pocahontas (Disney) feeling throughout the movie. Well... not that vague.
  
  
• LoOk aT aLl ThOsE pRetTy CoLoUrS! Shiny. Very shiny. Everything was fluorescent and shiny and fluorescent and shiny and oh gods, so shiny.
  
  
• The bad guy is apparent from the first moment we meet him. Scary scar depicting him as faulty and horrid, check. Testosterone-full, check. Macho, badass monologue, check. Bottle covey look, check. As promised, he fights until he is shot down. Multiple times. With rockets and poisonous arrows. And a kitty.
  
  
• When the girl... imdb says Neytiri, cradled the fallen body of uh... Jake, Snow White and the 7 little dwarfs flashed before my eyes. I just found it hilarious. But that might just be the lack of sleep, I guess.
  

But yeah, the graphics are breathtaking, even though I twitched like mad, trying to check if I was about to aggro a group of raptors or quetzal or skelk. It felt like I was wandering in Asuran territory in first person with the floating islands overhead. (Guild Wars MMO in case someone had doubts.)

But even though the plot was reused and full of clichés, I liked it. Just like I liked Fifth Element. So... yeah, it's good. Just... make sure you have no motion sickness issues before you watch it in 3D.

-6°C!!!!

That's how cold yesterday evening it was. (And today too btw.) I left home yesterday when it was about -4°C at 15:30 and it went downhill from there.

I had to stop a few times, first to buy vitamins for my ill chinchilla, who of course refuses to take any and then at the Christmas fair at Blaha. I bought a pair of leg warmers, black with purple stripes and warm, above all else. I also bought myself the silliest hat ever. It has ear protectors and is felted inside, so it's extra warm and I can hardly hear anything and has three braids with pom-poms coming out of it. Two from the bottom of the ear protectors and one from the top of the head. As I said, awesomely silly. (On the pic.)

I also bought my dad a hat in manly colours. I intended it to be an indoor hat, since he doesn't have much hair, never had since he was 18, so... It's the most useful gift ever.

Then I went to teach. Where the kiddo was a bit sick and started throwing his toys. He has been doing this for a while, but never before with such accuracy. The sound system survived, but not the glasses of tea on the table. His mom got really upset and had a nervous breakdown right in front of me.

I don't think I've ever felt so uncomfortable in other company than my family. She snarled that I should leave for a while and paid me for my services. I offered to have tea with her and listen. (The kid had been put in his kiddie bed with the bars so he couldn't come out.)

Luckily, I refused to leave (a decision I am now happy I made but at that time I wasn't that sure it was a good idea... at all) and things ended up getting back to normal. The mom calmed down while I played with the kid and explained it to him that his mommy was sad because he ruined his toys - and if he ruined them, he wouldn't have anything to play with. Sometimes I'm not sure it'd be safe for me to have a kid. I'd murder him if he pissed me off. (Just kidding, hopefully.)

Anyway. The dad came home, things calmed down and they wouldn't let me leave until I guzzled down 2dl of red wine. It sure kept me from freezing on the road home (1,5 hours) but boy... it was so damn cold! I'm so happy I bought that hat because that at least kept my head warm. My pretty crocheted hat wouldn't have stood a snowball's chance in hell against that weather.

So today here I sit with a horrid migraine (thanks to yesterday's cold and the cold front), legs warmed by leg warmers and I wonder if my dad really will buy a hat like mine, because it'd be funny. (He wants to. But he said he will pick it out himself. I wonder what colour and style he'll pick...)

About wellness spas and suchlikes

It is the holiday season, and I see more and more ads for "wellness treatments" as awesome Cristmast gifts. I never really considered that as a Christmas gift. I have seen women going to spas and lazing about, getting massages and generally just enjoying a 2 days one night trip to some awesome bathhouse in movies and TV shows, but I never really understood the appeal.

No, I'm lying. I really don't like the idea of it. I mean if anybody wanted to send me to some, I'd decline as politely as possible and keep my dirty words for myself... But really. I never enjoyed lazing about in a bath for half a day, or even running scantily clad to get a massage by some person I've never known. I'm pretty much put off by the whole "wellness trip" idea.

I dunno why exactly. I mean my whole body being ticklish might be one of the reasons. maybe not. I mean those women are always pretty and perfect and let's admit it, no matter how much I've accepted how I look, I'm still not comfortable traipsing around in a swimsuit where people can see me.

So I guess that is one of the main reasons. Women who look good can enjoy getting special treats and look good while they do it. I don't like to show my figure in public so it'd be a living hell for me.

Also, there is the question of "couldn't we spend it on something I like better?" Because I'd be more happy to get a pretty pendant or beads, even a nice shade of lipstick better than that spa treat.

Am I a bad person for disliking wellness treats in general and not being excited by sensual music, massages, nicely scented massage oils, candlelit baths and suchlikes?

(And yes, candlelit baths suck. For one the wax is a bitch to scrape up for another, you can hardly see unless you use up a ton of candles, you splash and they burn out and most of all: I prefer to shower. I wash myself properly and that's that, thanks very much.)

If I really had to pick some sensual overload, I'd pick a nice scented oil burning in my oil burner, jazz playing in the background and me curled up on the couch or the bed with a good book. (And don't forget my spicy tea, because that is vital too!)

So... yeah... that's me in a nutshell. I hate wellness spas and other crap. Sue me.

Hmm... Totally forgot how... shocking Utena is. Of course when the main protagonist is a pink haired girl who likes to save other girls and be a prince herself... and is obviously bisexual... well, you expect some sexual hints. But these obvious sexual hints are not small undertones like I remembered, these are bright red banners, screaming.

I forgot that not just Utena, our protagonist, but everybody else has... non-conformist tastes or wishes. Before I list some, I must repeat that the series is full of complex symbols, hints, and phallic symbols like swords, towers, powerful red sports cars and of the female side I can only remember the roses that run rampant; lots and lots of dewy roses and rose carvings, rose crests... roses everywhere.

And the sexual undertones are just as strong to match the heavily symbol-loaded imagery. I sort of forgot how much sex actually went on in the series. Not on screen of course, never on screen, always and only in hints. But man, those hints...

Although yeah, some of these made me a little less certain I intended to watch Utena any more. It's kinda strange how watching two guys trashing about on the same bed makes me feel a bit iffy. Maybe it was the unrealistic part. I hope I'm not about to become a homophobe. Although I didn't feel iffy when Utena was having fun with the girls... and no, I'm still not interested in girls. I just don't really care.

These are a few screencaps that I felt were... interesting...Male readers, cover your eyes or skip the rest please, unless you prefer guys.

"If it cannot break its egg's shell, a chick will die without being born.
We are the chick. The world is our egg.
If we don't crack the world's shell, we will die without being born.
Smash the world's shell!"

Yup. Started watching it again. I've seen it last years ago. But yesterday I got hit by the urge so hard I had to take my DVDs out and start watching it asap. Actually, today.

Maybe it was the complex symbology I've been craving, or maybe it was that I couldn't remember anymore what it was about. Maybe it was Flashforward's influence, the dead crows, dunno. But I'm gonna watch it. And somehow I enjoy getting lost in the symbology and the metaphors and the delicately dropped hints. Yum!

And if someone still hasn't got the slightest clue: I'm talking about Utena.

The combination of rain, fog, wind and cold is probably one of the most depressing sort of weather I can imagine. (Luckily, it was only a slight wind, not the horrid 100 km/h sort.) That and the most revolting to boot, especially that I had to leave in dark and I had stomach cramps from hell. So yeah, add Aunt Irma to the mix and you have a horrid evening.

To top it off, I wasn't in mood for my usual music and ended up listening to Madonna. And I had but 3 songs of hers on my iPod: Frozen, To Have and Not to Hold and Nothing Really Matters.

Trust me, after listening to those 3 on loop, you're about to slit your wrists any minute.

Why didn't I pick something else? Rain. I was happy my umbrella protected me from half of it. I was freezing, my hands were stiff and icy and I just couldn't care enough to find my iPod under tons of clothing.

Note to self: get some decent Madonna songs on my iPod asap, or better: Morcheeba.

Unseen before

I'm currently reading Sir Terry Pratchett's newest Discworld book, the Unseen Academicals. And I find it lacking, as sad as I am to say.

It seems like the old ones were written for European readers, and this one has been written for an American audience mostly. Why? Simple. Europeans are used to reading books you had to decipher, you had to look a bit deeper to finally get that "aha" moment and for all the pieces to fall together. This book simply lacks it.

Somehow, I feel the characters have been made more... nice, easily understood and there is too much explanation. The hinted relationship between Vetinari and Lady Margalotta is addressed in length, Vetinari is being kind and nice and there are no cloaks and daggers and snide remarks and and and... all the things that kept me on my toes all the time. Now it's all explained as it happens, Vetinari is kind and nice and everything is so very very simple.

I feel like crying! It's like an old childhood dream of mine has been sullied. Pratchett is shedding light on every last little bit of mystery, like the plotting and maneuvering Vetinari is doing to Ankh-Morpork and his strange relationship with "The Dark Lady" Margalotta. There is no suspense, there are no unanswered questions, no mysteries to ponder, no "whodunnit" feeling, nothing!!!

All we get is a goblin in the middle as some half-assed riddle, a few romance novel-esque stories stuffed in, a bunch of wizards running around and Vetinari doing the Machiavelli for the very dumb. It feels like the Discworld version for 5 year olds.

I'm beyond words with despair! I loved the Discworld because it was brilliant, sarcastic, played puns on everything from racism to politics, vampires, zombies and yes, fantasy above all else. What Pratchett made of the elves and pixies was brilliant, absolutely brilliant! But this is nothing anymore. It's like someone crapped into your grandma's priceless antique china bowl. Or better yet, swapped your grandma's priceless antique china bowl for some modern, ugly, misshapen art that's tasteless and useless and said there, it's your bowl, the very same. And it's not.

I wonder if this is because Sir Pratchett's Alzheimer is playing up or because he wants to endear himself to the American public. The idea, that he might be trying to tie up lose ends has crossed my mind, but I'm sure he could have done that better, so no, I don't think so.

I wonder if this was a one-time mistake. If no... I'll be even more sad. But as of today, I'm very, very disappointed.

Oh Yuck!!!

One hour of my life wasted on the most horrid shit ever! I gave in and watched The Disaster Movie. I didn't enjoy any part of it. It was crap, disgusting, dumb, brainless and the most horrid movie I have ever watched. It was worse than The Watchmen! It was worse than Twilight! Even worse in experience than the Twilight book or New Moon. And New Moon was the worst book I've ever read.

If you ever think of watching it, don't. I can watch some shitty stuff, like Epic Movie, but this... this is hundred times worse than Epic movie. Honest. There is no redeeming feature, no new content, no plot, no good jokes, nothing!

It's the worst thing ever. And I spent maybe one hour of my life on this shit. Thank the gods for the fast forward button.

About male minds

When a male friend of mine said the dubious praise: "see, I like you for these things, you're almost like one of the guys and can appreciate geek stuff and boobies " I froze. Seriously, I felt like asking back WTF?!

Days later, I'm still bloody angry.

No, I do not enjoy watching other women's breasts and geek stuff is not limited to guys, a**hat. And before someone mentions that getting pissed off is considered denial... I have a lesbian aunt I like. Both she and her gf are cool and I feel sorry I didn't know about them when I was younger, because I would have liked having more decent people around. I also feel sorry we don't meet up more often. Again, because they are decent people, not like some of my family members I have to meet on a regular basis.

Anyway. If this is not enough, just think about this: do you think if I were lesbian I'd stay in the closet because I gave a damn about what other people thought? Like hell.

So, no. I'm simply heterosexual and I'm not even remotely interested in boobies. My breast size beats almost all anyway, so who the fuck cares about other women's breasts?

Next time anyone suggests anything to do with me and other women's breasts I'll need a shovel and a place to hide a dead body, savvy?

Last Friday I went on a job interview. As it turned out, the company that was looking for a customer caring person sold herbal medicine from far far away. (I shan't mention it on my blog where the company came from, so don't even ask me about it. Here anyway.) They also sell err... machines like.. massage stuff and whatnot.

Anyway, you have to be a member to order their stuff, give them all your personal information, etc, so it's not to my taste. And without knowing it I applied for a job that requires me to talk to pissed off customers. Yipee.

So, last Friday was the first interview. Then they told me about the company, what they do, what the job requires. They also told me that next time, if I get selected for the next interview, they'll tell me how much they'd be willing to pay and listen to my English.

Today was my second interview with them. The boss talked to me about... my skills. Nothing else. I went there for half an hour to make smalltalk. Nobody spoke to me in English, they didn't ask me to speak in English. And they didn't tell me how much they'd pay me.

They said I'll get a call saying yes or no next week and if it's a yes they'll set a date asap and then I can sign a contract. And only then, after they said yes will they tell me how much they'd pay me. (Or look at my English. Isn't that weird?)

Let's just say something's not kosher.

Even my mother says it's not kosher. Which is really something. So... I must admit I kinda hope they don't pick me, although it's close by (for a month or two, before they are scheduled to move far far away) and I want a job.

So. If the pay's not decent I'm gonna say no. I just hope they won't try to pull anything.

Whoa!!!!

I gave in and started watching Supernatural. I prefer to watch it in bulk. I was saving up for bad days. And the time has come.

And tell you what, it's just damn perfect. It's an awesome start. I'm nearly through the first ep and it's so unbelievably good.

There are the snappy, witty comebacks, the tongue in cheek jokes and the most unimaginably funny encounters.

Just to quote a few:

• "This sucks ass." Summarized the modern day prophet, when they removed a molar from his hair that got stuck there from an exploding angel.
  
  
• And then Sam touched... no, caressed Dean's clavicle."
  "This is wrong," said Dean. - From a crazy fangirl writing Sam/Dean fanfic... right in the show!! :D
  
  
• "I'm samlicker81." Says the aforementioned fangirl. Ouch, my sides! I was pretty floored by that one.
  
  
• "Could you stop touching me?" -> Sam
  "No." -> crazy fangirl, groping Sam
  
  
• "Life as an angel condom." - Says Dean when Michael, the angel wants to inhabit his body. FYI, Dean said no.
  

And then there are the visuals. I mean... Cas is back! Yay for the eye candy! Then there's that guy who looks like he lost his family and ended up living in poltergeistville. I think he'll be the host of Lucifer, but maybe not. Hmm. Still, he looks like a rather well-made mix of Dr House and Ben Hawkins. Since I find them both attractive, it's a win-win situation.

And then Bobby gets possessed by demons. I thought they all had tattoos to make them being possessed by demons impossible, or was that only the Winchester toys boys? And how can an angel possess them if they have the tattoos? Or does that only work for demons?

Oh well, not to worry, it is still awesome so far. I'm having so much fun watching it!

Today I had the weirdest encounter. Something that only happens in romance novels and warped alternate dimensions. Weird, really weird.

I was getting home by public transport as usual and the bus was packed full. We were like sardines in a can. I was in a safe corner originally, but I swapped places with a woman with two small children and a big belly. Lucky she had her husband with her.

Anyway, as usual, my dear iPod froze, as it does every 2 hours or so and since I couldn't move, I had to bear with no music. (Couldn't move? I was holding on to the handrail for dear life!) Anyway, I was craning my neck to see if they have pushed the button so I could push my way out at the next stop... And I saw people trying to push forward to get closer to the door. Like there was any empty place over there. Thanks to that I had someone press themselves up to my back. I started praying it wasn't some pervy old man.

Then I hear "Your hair smells really nice." mumbled right into my ear. Scared me like nothing else, it did. So I turn around by reflex, shocked, and I come face-to jawbone with some young guy. Well, ok, he was kinda pretty in an androgynous sort of way with long, curly hair, high cheekbones, lush lips... he spelled jailbait with perfect grammar in a dozen languages. So I didn't wait to see if I'd end up smooching the guy when the bus jolted us again.

And my neck hurt so I couldn't see his expression when I turned to look at him. I kinda hope he thought I was younger or someone else. Otherwise he might be having problems.

Anyway, by then the grannies pushing from a few paces away arrived to where I was standing, pushing us further back into another bunch of people causing a commotion that ended with some tired-looking middle aged guy telling them what stupid, idiotic things they were to try to push forward in a packed-full, moving vehicle when they could have waited till it stopped and had its doors open.

The rant ended short when the doors opened and I left without a backward glance.

I really don't know what that guy was thinking... And really, I don't wanna know until he turns 21. Oh and yeah, I used the shampoo you gave me for my b-day, Eleanor.

I guess you should never take games and online friends seriously, because one day they'll just fuck you over. Like they did with me today. I know it's my inner Hungarian speaking, but I hope that that healer got them killed more times. (I only heard about one, but then I left the game since they didn't call me, the one who got left behind but offered the spot for "the one who turned up first". Charming and heartwarming. They sure know how to make a person feel special.)

Truth be told, I really didn't feel like grouping up with that healer, but then again he took my spot. So technically we wouldn't have been in the same group. On first try. And second try I just got offended enough and decided not to give a shit. And besides that, he can't heal worth shit... who would want to kill some badass, powerful boss (well, old god, technically) with a monk who can't heal? I sure as hell don't wanna do the job of two monks just because he sucks. It'll be hard enough for two good monks, not to mention one.

I just wish I had another still functioning guild I could leave for, because today just showed me how much I can trust my wonderful alliance... and guild.

And tomorrow (technically it's today) I'll try again. Worst case: I turn all chats off and play the game solo or with the few trusty old friends that still play sometimes. I guess it's high time I found myself another hobby or became a workaholic.

The story of my new bag

Today I left the flat before noon. It was sunny and warm, go figure. It was about 16°C and I felt bad about not grabbing my sunglasses, because whenever I go out when the sun is shining brightly I end up with a huge headache in the evening. Yay.

When I was halfway to the Chinese market, it began to rain. I had no umbrella with me nor water-resistant coat, so I used my shawl to cover my hair. Was funny, and I consider myself lucky I didn't see my reflection.

Anyway, I had to search for about half an hour for the booth, because the shop owner had apparently moved. I also phoned my mom a few times because she knows the place like the back of her hand so I had to ask in which huge, old factory building that little booth could be found. (Think of it like a better organized flea market with Chinese immigrant sellers and new junk instead of old, used junk.

Anyway, I finally found the shop that sold the brand of bag I used. (I was hung up on this brand called Kukumalu, not because of the cute little mouse printed on the front, but because it didn't fall to pieces in half a year like my other bags did, it actually worked for 5+ years.) There were rows of these bags in different shapes and colors. The shop owner was watching TV and as far as I could tell the same song was going they played at the Olympics... You know, the one that little girl sang who actually lip synched... (The girl was pretty, the song was pretty, if you are Cliff's mom, don't kill me please, ok?)

Anyway, I ask the guy if they have bags of this brand, only bigger. He says there's none of these bags. I blink a few times and wonder if we are having a language barrier issue there. I say ok, look around, pick a bag of said brand that is obviously there. (Deep military green.) Not the same size my old bag was, a bit smaller, but whatever, it'd do. (The black one was too high and I felt like green today anyway.) I ask how much. He says it's not for sale, and that he has none for sale.

I blink again. I wave the bag. Guy refuses to budge. The he tells me it's not for sale, that they are all not for sale.

I shrug and leave. So no, I didn't get a Kukumalu bag, sadly. But as my mom suggested, the guy might have refused to sell me that one bag because he might have wanted to sell them in bulk, aka all of them to a bag shop owner. It figures.

Anyway, I decided I did need a bag, because smaller bags with space only for a smaller book and notes is not enough for me. It was enough for university when I didn't have psycho classes (OK, psychology, but seriously, did you see my teachers? I did.), but I prefer to stuff my hat and shawl into the bag or one more shirt for the cold, plus the book, plus my notes (usually when I teach). So yeah, I needed a bigger bag.

So I went to the bag shop both my mom and my friend and me frequent from time to time, because it's close to both my uni and my mom's workplace. And yeah, Eleanor studied at the same uni as me. Anyway, the guy was out of Kukumalu bags, but I fell in love with another bag. I'm not sure if this guy is as good as the Kukumalu bags, but it was soooo pretty and awesome I had to have it. And it was pretty cheap, considering bags.

I haven't decided on a name yet, but I'm considering Seph. It has a sort of steampunk look if you squint (The clasp at the front definitely has a feel to it!), and I'm planning on adding some embellishments to the bag. I happen to have some corner pieces in some copper looking material that looks like metal, and I also have glue I'm not afraid to use. Bwahaha.

So, this is... Seph.

...House...

The newest House. Ouch.

Somehow House started sucking. I mean I'm not holding my breath waiting for it and it's not liek I still can't wait to watch it. Somehow House became boring and sad and just plain yuck.

So Chase got OOC and killed a guy, Cameron didn't freak out, she just told House off and after an ep she left Chase too, saying that they (as in both Chase and House) were gone forever. I think that was OOC too. She should be staying and trying to redeem Chase, not leave him! Seriously... meh. Those two were so... not themselves.

Foreman: the trusty old token black guy. He doesn't do much, just... he's just there.

Taub: finally something I don't mind.

13: just the usual. She feels like the House charity case, the poor thing whose days are numbered and she is not quite what she used to be. A second Cameron with a thing for women instead of dying people and a terminal illness. Yipee.

Cuddy and PI guy: good heavens who thought THAT would be in character?!

I mean yikes! How did we end up with something like that? I mean Cuddy would never be with a guy like that. She is a serious woman, head of a hospital and nearly twice the guy's age! She is a mom too! I could never ever imagine her dating the PI guy. He's just too immature and young for her, not to mention probably not the best daddy figure ever. Or have I somehow not realized that Cuddy would date a kid?

Well, could it be that Cuddy dating the PI guy is just some elaborate plot Cuddy planned so that House would be interested in her? If so I'm dropping the show like hot coal.

So all in all, House this season sucks. I kinda liked the first two eps, aka the opening, but then it sort of turned to bad and worst.

How lucky I am to have Lie to Me. Although this week's episode was lacking in microexpressions, which is sad. I hope it's not going to become a habit (aka I hope they're not dropping the microexpressions from the show because most of the Americans are too stupid to understand it) , because I do watch the show for the microexpressions the most. Well, that and Lightman of course. But this week's episode wasn't that bad. Tim Roth in an adorable, flower-patterned apron? Priceless!

Yesterday went well, I guess. Bought a bra at a sale (black lace, demi- and under wire bra all in one, for those interested) and it was really cheap. Yay. Last one they had in my size and let me tell you, it's not easy at all to find bras in my size. Well, cup size, I mean.

Then I went to the new shopping mall for some Christmas presents, because they had an opening sale. I survived a CO poisoning which happened because the new shopping mall's airing wasn't sufficient. Yay. I was on the upper levels, and people staed falling sick in the parking lots and the lower levels. I left before I got sick. With presents.

Today on the other hand was frustrating. I got a call a few hours before I left home that informed me that my students were sick and teaching today was canceled. I could ahve gone and bought a new bag that I have been meaning to do for days. My trusty old bag of 5 years died when its strap snapped. So I decided to buy another, the same model, same size, same colour.

But I can only buy it from the Chinese market, because only those guys still sell that type of bag. And they close really early. Around 3 the booth is already closed. So I have to wake up early, go and buy it. Couldn't do it today because I had an appointment and didn't want to wait in some small café for hours till I had to go and teach. (Why? because I didn't feel like paying for a meal I could eat for free at home.)

And then came the newest episode of House. Which I'll discuss in my next post.

Sorry for the sudden jolt

Sorry, I had to move. Again. It was an emergency. I'll move my blog back once the threat of family members finding it passes. I seriously don't want my Canadian aunts and other assorted family members to browse my blog and read and gossip about it.

If I really have to have a virus, can I have them?
*huge puppy eyes*

Yet another one bites the dust

I went out with friends on Friday to drink. We drank coffee, mostly.

One of these friends of mine I haven't seen in a year. She turned into a health freak with an aggressive way of expressing her well meant intentions. We had a "ping-pong match" of wills as my friend (Eleanor) pointed out.

And no, I do not want to try out herbal remedies because I did in the past and they didn't do shit.

Oh and no, there is no way I wanna hug my mother. One, she hates it. Two, I'd hate it more. I'm not used to hugging and I don't think I could ever get used to hugging my family members. Friends are OK, it's just that we don't do it in the family. It's just not our thing.

And don't get me started on telling my feelings to my family members. We don't do that. I mean sure, if we have problems we do talk about it, but we don't say things like "oh, when you said my ass looked big in those pants really hurt my feelings, you shouldn't say stuff like that" and so on. It's a fact that my ass looks big no matter what I wear, so do my boobs for that matter, and if someone comments that I say true, and bite back.

We have a way of trading... well... insults, only we don't really mean it. It's more like a playful barter. And if not, I give as good as I get. I seriously don't need someone to tell me how I should handle my folks when said someone does not know them.

What can I say? It was sad to see another friend go cuckoo.

I liked her better when she still drank beer, talked lots about books and literature and had the hots for one of our profs.

Sniff.

And something less whiney

Isn't this the cutest thing ever?

I'm a cross pincushion, short and stout...

I feel like a pincushion, as above mentioned. They have taken blood from both my arms, and if it turns out that I am in fact diabetic, I'll go and drown in the Danube.

Well, no, I prolly won't do that. But I won't care.

I mean I have 4 illnesses already, all of them inherited from various family members, if I also have diabetes... Seriously, I already feel like the world hates me for some reason or I have been either someone horrible in my last life, and I mean Horrible with a capital H, or maybe I picked something this horrible, by thinking I'd have some privileges after a life like this.

Either way, even if I turn out to be diabetic, I won't care shit about calories and what I should be eating.

Why? because I'm already dodging food stuff left and right thanks to my allergies, and I seriously don't want the group of foods I can eat to get even smaller.

So. Fuck you, fuck the illnesses and if you poke me that I'm not right you can sure as hell try living like this and not complain as much as I do. if you do manage, then you can cast your stone, Virgin Mary, tyvm.

And in case someone was wondering what these 4 illnesses were that I already have: asthma, heavy allergies (the clawing your eyes out, runny nose, cough, throw up certain foods kind), lipoma (in case you are lazy to google: benign tumors under the skin) and goitre (struma).

And if you were wondering why I haven't killed myself... I'm wondering the same.

The bitch

There is something impossibly annoying about the way my uncle's wife... errr... my aunt stares at me whenever I talk about anything I like to do or do at all. Actually, annoying is not the right word, but I can't find a better one. Maybe prejudicial. She just gets this artificially polite, puzzled look on her face and you can see she's tuned you out and thinks you are crazy and thinks you should be told how to live your life and should be overseen by someone like her - and you should be hit over the head, hard, whenever you even think about trying to stray from the path she planned out for you till you die.

And there is something even more annoying, hurtful, cold and just plain uncaring in her eyes when she tells you what she thinks you should be doing. Every time we meet sher asks me why I don't do this or that. She always comes up with ideas that never appealed to me, and of course I don't have any abilities to do.

• She asks me why don't I study to become a doctor. I see dead people, I run screaming. (No pun intended.) I see wounds, I faint. (Ok, so not a paper cut, but oozing lots of blood and maybe see bones... oh gods, please no.)
• She wants me to work with numbers. I do not have the affinity, and I fucked up every math test because I was frikkin scatter-brained and added up the wrong lot. So no, I am not friends with numbers.
• Then, she wants me to be a scribe/typist whatever. As in work in the law department as a woman typing away stuff for a living. They earn as much as the cleaning lady, work from dusk till dawn and after a year or two they can join a course where they'll be taught some stuff about a law and be a law secretary. As in the only available advancement, to earn more than a cleaning lady is to learn the law and all the clauses. I didn't study to become a lawyer because of my memory. I remember small details, not the bigger stuff. That and because when in a tight spot I go blank and I can't remember anything.

She tells me I should have learnt a profession. I learnt 3. It's not my fault the crisis hit and people are let go and hardly anybody needs people of my profession. During the boom they did. Nowadays they hardly hire anybody.

But alas, I dunno why she can't come up with something that needs good English, creativity and deft fingers and someone with a good planning ability and a clear, logical head. Because those are my stronger points. I'm damn good in planning, I come up with new and creative solutions, my English is pretty damn good and I am very good with my hands. (No, no pun intended. But if you have seen the stuff I can crochet, model from clay, assemble from beads, you know what I mean.)

Anyway, my safest bet so far was secretary/IT helpdesk/customer service. That's what I can do, and I cannot fathom why she can't understand this.

I have NO idea why this bitch from the ninth level of hell can't understand that I'm not her toy to amuse herself with, I won't let her live my life and for the love of any god, I know what I can and can't do, I wish she would realize I'm not made from hot wax that she can mold to her own image, godsdamnit. I'm my own person and she WON'T get her hands on my life.

I want to find a job much, much more than she thinks I do, and I want to find a job I won't feel like killing myself during every second of it. I want a job where I do what I know how to do and I just don't want to feel so miserable because I have no idea what I should be doing.

I just wish I could find myself a job and tell her where to shove it, because at this point if I tell her to shut up my folks will get the wrong idea and then I'll be told not to bite the hand that feeds me and I just can't give up my free will and my spirit like that. I'm me, godsdamnit and not an instrument for others to live out their lives again!

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh, My!

Yep. Just as expected. The carnival of Heroes sucks crocodile balls.

Actually, most of Heroes does so far. The only cute part is the deaf woman. She is the only element I like.

The others? A bad joke, mostly.

• What do you call that, which has no life? Peter Petrelli.
• Sylar says: join the dark side, Parkman! And after two seasons of flirting with it, he finally does. Hands up those who didn't see that one coming.
• Claire and lesbo girl kiss. Fanservice much?
• Angela finally notices she has another son besides Peter. *gasp!* No wai!
• Course by then she's just scared shitless her son, who is actually not her son but a batshit crazy mass murderer with kickass special powers programmed into being her son who got killed at the end of last season... (Seriously, can you still follow the plot? Doesn't it sound stupid?)
  
• Creepy earthshaker borrowed from Carnivale stole Jack Sparrow's compass. There will be hell to pay. (They prolly didn't have enough money to borrow Brother Justin or Ben Hawkins so they settled for little Tommy Dolan. And have I mentioned how creepy that guy is? I hate the earth shaker. He rubs me the worst way ever. I can't stand people like him.)
• Earthshaker looks disturbingy like Willie Wonka while inviting Sylar into his Carnival. (Am I the only one who thinks Sylar has godmode on and should have been killed about at least two seasons ago? I mean then he was still interesting. Now he is like some annoyingléy overused plot that still gets dragged in every time and you wish it would just go away.)
  

So Tim Kring has spent the summer watching Pirates of the Caribbean and HBO's Carnivale. I'm surprised nobody sues him, ever. Although as crappy as the show is going, who would claim to have any connection with its plot whatsoever?

The only teeny tiny part I actually approve of is the way the future actually changes now with the changes made in the past. It never happened in the last seasons, so I am happy they realized the past and the present are actually connected. Well done, idiots. You were kinda late, you know.

Teh Mega Rant

I hate the idiots, who think that only anorexic pre-teens need boots. I cannot fathom how in the nine hells they think one size fits all.

I frikkin hate that I can't find flat-heeled boots that I can zip up completely. Why oh why can't shoemakers realize that I would pay good money for a pair of decent looking leather boots that actually fit my ankle and a bit above. I don't want knee high, or god forbid even higher reaching boots, I'm not some bored housewife with domina-envy.

I just want a pair of leather boots that fit me, reach a few centimeters above my ankles and for the gods' sake, no heels.

So... what did I see in the shops we went to? High heeled knee-high boots a hooker would blush to wear. I saw some decent looking boots with modest heels and even some with flat heels. But each and every last one of them were made for girls thinner than sticks.

Why the fuck do they only make boots for starved Ethiopians? I thought this was Hungary for fuck's sake!

And no, I didn't find any boots for me, if you were still wondering.

Well. I actually had a good night's sleep when the salt lamp was turned off. Gods, it feels so good.

Course I'll have to run around the city to find pots for the new chrysanthemums my folks brought home. My mom brought me two more small potted ones and my dad fell in love with a huge bush of deep vine red one I "lovingly" nicknamed plantzilla. Of course it's moi who will have the pleasure of re-potting plantzilla. And trust me, it'll need a huge pot. I wonder if I will be able to carry it home.

(I only use clay pots, none of that shitty plastic for me, thanks. Although plantzilla's future pot makes me reconsider it.)

Anyway, today's the day I go and try to buy me a pair of decent looking boots. I mean I love my Docs, I do, but to some places it's kinda... inappropriate. Not to mention boots take time to put on... well, the Docs with the shoelaces in any case.

And now I'm off to shop. In the worst case I'll pop in to IKEA after teaching for the pots tomorrow. (Oh joy.)

Having faith was never my thing.

Sleeping with a frikkin light on either. For one thing, that damned salt-lamp thingy I keep turned on at night is driving me batshit crazy. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I began using it. I have been dreaming about horrid stuff, and I seriously need some time out. I'll figure something out to keep the salt going.

So back to the faith thingy. I let a guildie roam free on my blog. So... in case my blog miraculously disappears, don't be surprised, just go back to the previous address. Why? Because if he starts harrassing me about it I'm going to deny it ever existed.

Call me paranoid. But hey, it has happened once already.

I so hate these trust games. This sucks. I hate mixing up ig with my real life and I hate people knowing about all my little secrets before we actually get to know each other. Today is just fucking priceless.

Weather: 20 degrees less than last week. Meaning: 3°C.

Job fair: got some pretty pens and a Hewlett-Packard lip balm. Go figure, but I like it.

Jobs: none so far.

Tired? Very.

It never rains

...it frikkin pours! We've had rain for more than a day now. No sunlight, lots of wind and for tonight we were promised 140 km/h speedy wind and more rain. Tomorrow more rain and more wind. This Friday? Snow.

Boy, am I happy or what. (No, I hate cold and the lack of sunshine.)

So in light of this, I made myself a hat. It's crocheted. It was difficult to make, although at least the yarn was thick enough so it could be made quicker, but I still had to unravel parts of it. The brim was the hardest to make... actually, it was a bitch to make, especially when the amaranth/ceries coloured yarn ran out in the middle of the last row, so I mad to make it much thinner. Oh and by the way both balls of yarns were bought in a second hand shop, both still with the protective paper on, unused, so I used up around 100 gramms of acrylic yarn for the hat in two colours.

My mom let me put it on her head and take a picture of it. She also said it looked like I bought it from a shop. Coming from her it's the highest praise ever.

We started our cemetery visits early this year too. Nobody says you can't go a week or two early, after all it's the thought that counts.

Anyway, I bought a chrysanthemum (deep purple) at the cemetery florist and will plant it in one of the empty pots lying around the balcony tomorrow. Who says you can't buy your plants anywhere you see them sold legally? ^^

My other chrysanthemums are either blooming or about to bloom. We had nice weather so far, but not anymore. Next week we were promised frost and only a couple degrees above zero in Celsius.

With that in mind, when my folks dragged me into a mall before we went home, I saw a very pretty autumn coat. Deep, very deep green that's almost black, long, stops just above my knees. And it's a very soft woolen coat (not sure it's genuine wool tho) with large buttons and a minimalist look, but I'm pretty sure that style never goes out of fashion.

The price, sadly, was pretty steep. Until I went to check if it was the correct price. It wasn't. instead of 11k it cost me 8k. Obviously, I bought it! ^^

That said, I think I'm ready now for bad weather in style.

Yay!

Autumn is finally here

Tonight, when I went out onto the balcony to take a look at the deep red sky in the impending twilight, the bitter smell of smoke of burning leaves assaulted my nose. Never mind, that it was a mild, mostly windless evening and that the roads are clear of fallen leaves, the scent of burning leaves marks the beginning of autumn to me.

You can stick me out on my balcony blind in any season and I would tell you which one it was. I know spring by the smell of freshly grown greens and the smell of flowers, stronger or weaker depending on the month, summer from the scent of sun-baked stones and wood, autumn by the scent of tangy, bitter smoke of burning leaves and the rotting leaves and winter by the clear, sharp smell of pure oxygen.

Interrupted many times. I'll maybe finish my post when I won't feel so murderous anymore. I so need to get out of here.

Let's shake some dust!

Yup. I decided to re-watch Carnivale! ^^

Why? Because I'll have to watch the newest season of Heroes. Believe me, I didn't want to, as the show is so crappy that I feel like banging my head on the walls whenever I watch it... But they actually introduced some carnival elements into the newest season. And since Carnivale ended abruptly and there are still no new episodes out (and probably never will be) I wanna see something like that again.

So, since the newest season of Heroes is, as far as I saw in the preview, a mix between Heroes and Carnivale, not to mention Tommy Dolan's actor plays the carnival leader in Heroes... I decided to give it a chance. After I watch Carnivale.

Of course I know this means Heroes will pale even more in comparison... but I just need to watch Carnivale. It's a comfort thing. But yeah, with Heroes' unimaginative and crappy plot and stupidest plot twists in history it's bound to be a disappointing experience. So I'm watching Carnivale first, before it gets sullied by Heroes. Although I hope that for some reason, it won't.

And yeah, Heroes is that bad.

Just one example: Claire Bennet (aka The Cheerleader) has rapid healing as her very special power. Her blood heals and resurrects, as proven in season 2, when her daddy gets shot in the head and then gets resurrected with her blood later on. Still, in the last episode of season 3 she sobs on the dead body of her (biological) father and doesn't even consider to give a shot of her blood to her poor daddy. Doesn't it strike you as odd? Instead, they give the resident evil, psycho killer all his memories and program him to look, act and be the dead person they could have saved with minimal effort, and I mean minimal as in about 3 tablespoons of Claire Bennet's blood.

...uhm... hell. Maybe I shouldn't watch Heroes after all.

Call the press, I'm feeling a bit better. The doc gave me antibiotics on Tuesday, and besides the side effects, I'm getting better. Side effects include nausea and other bathroom-related activities. I don't like it, but oh well.

Been sleeping with a light on, not because I'm regressing back to childhood... not like I slept with the light on ever... Anyway, the light in question is a salt lamp. I figured that since I had to use it for my lungs, and since anywhere else the small, bright light would have driven me partially blind, leaving it on while I slept was the best option.

It still bugs me a bit because I'm not used to sleep with lights on, but I just turn onto my other side and that's that. And come to think of it, during winter it might lift my mood, after all I get depressed easily without sunlight.

And next week I'll go to the doc again. I seem to be having some goitre issues. Another damn inherited family illness. Doc will take some blood and make an ultrasound once I'm off the antibiotics. I wish I inherited something nice for a change instead of a family illness again.

Ok, I'm officially having a fever. 37,8 and counting. Scary. I hardly ever get a fever. Meep.

Fevered Dreams

Ok, I feel bad enough to whine about it.

Somehow I've caught a cold or it may be something similar. Thing is, I haven't slept all night, used up more than 200 tissues and had some fevered dream where one of my coughs was secretly female and all my other coughs supported it... her, whatever.

By noon I managed to dry myself out enough to catch a few hours of sleep in quarter hour bits and pieces.

Now I'm sitting in a big heap of tissues, having drank numerous liters of thyme tea with way too much lemon juice in them and ponder when I will ever be able to fall asleep.

Would it be morbid if I said: happy anniversary?

If you're American, it's better if you don't read this. I don't need rants for exercising my right of free speech.

Actually, I remember 9/11. I also remember the day after, when my school was asked, as actually everybody in the country to stand for a silent minute to mourn those poor widdle Americans.

I remember vividly that some picked their nose, a friend of mine yawned and another ate an apple, chewing thoughtfully. I snickered and looked out onto the street through the window my seat was next to and stared at the lucky buggers out on the street who didn't have to give a shit.

Then our teacher asked us, who didn't stand there with a mourning face: why? We told her. America never gave a shit about any other country. (The Americans elected a monkey as president. Seriously, what more is there to say?) Did they stand up in silence to mourn the people of Nagasaki? Nope. Did they ever say sorry that they sold our country to Russia? Hell no. Then why should we pay them any respect and mourn people we never even knew? Why do we have to mourn a country that brought this retaliation upon itself? I'm sorry to say, but I do believe they had something coming. I'm not saying it's exactly what they deserved, no. But they did deserve to get punched in the face.

However, I do feel sorry for the people who got killed. I feel sorry, because they had to live in such a country, because that was the only reason they got killed in those two towers. Had they lived elsewhere, in a country with a conscience... well, who knows.

Lucid dreams with a touch of fanservice

Weird dream again. Very weird.

The dream mixed together a lot of stuff, like NCIS, Heroes, The 4400 and Darker than Black.

The city we were in was a mix of lots of cities, I mean I recognized parts, or at lest it looked like some... but it wasn't. Felt a bit like the dream of the cities in Sandman.

It all started with Tony (DiNozzo) going undercover and joining a gang of young, rich kids. One day some strange wound appeared on his stomach, which turned out to be writing sliced into his flesh. Don't remember what it was, but I saw it...

Then, when one of the guys he was investigating got into his cabrio car, a boat fell on it all of a sudden. With an old man inside. Who grabbed this young guy and shook him and begged him not to freeze. In front of our eyes the boat and both men froze solid in about 5 seconds.

And then all hell broke loose. Some black dome appeared over this part of the city and we all got enveloped in black slime that looked like tar. Most people froze in place and died, some shattered, some just disappeared. I walked out of the slime without any problems and wandered about scared shitless.

I got out of the dome, but those who did get out like me were changed. We had powers now. I somehow ended up in a group with Peter Petrelli and Jordan Collier. And when people started hunting us, because they were scared of us and hated us, we had to flee.

There was only the dome they didn't hunt for us so we had to go back inside the black dome. But since the normal humans scheduled a hunt with lots of armed force to enter the dome (in protective clothing) next day, we had to do our best to find the cause and find a safe haven.

I didn't want to go back inside the dome because it was eerie and creepy and plain scary as hell. It was a deserted wasteland with ruins and frozen dead bodies and smelled strangely like tar. But we had no choice, so we went. And we went down to Level 5 to find something, anything.

The cells were either broken or empty or filled with tar. The one in the corner had light in it. I told the group there was someone who had to be alive and I had to save him. So I ran to the cell in the corner, looked in and Adam stared back at me, surprised and delighted. I breathed on the glass, trying to spell out "gonna get you out", but Peter broke the door. I was rather annoyed with him that I wasn't the hero.

So I ran in, grabbed him, dragged him out and told him I came to save him. Peter appeared like they have never met before, so I didn't tell him about Adam's past. Collier stared asking questions about safe secret passages and if the Company knew about this. Adam zoomed about the place, offering us papers that hinted that the answer was in the Cathedral, and then started walking out of the lower parts of the Company through some underground tunnel.

So we left through the tunnel and I grabbed Adam's hand, telling him that I knew him and if he let go of my hand and ran off I'd cut his head off. He seemed to be amused by this and took it in stride, the annoying git.

We emerged from a cellar in an alley and into a busy marketplace, way outside the black dome. We waded through the booths, buying some roasted chestnuts and fruit to eat and spotted the green dome of the Cathedral towering over the city in the distance. I was surprised that the people haven't spotted us as not normal humans, but I didn't dare mention this fact. We left in a hurry towards the Cathedral...

...and then someone's frikkin lawnmower woke me up.

Humanity is doooooooomed!

We have cable. This doesn't mean humanity's doom.

But something I just saw on TV did.
So, I've recently seen the advertising for the newest season of The Tudors. Well, newest for Hungary.

...and it said: Who will get the axe and who will live? Watch the newest season of The Tudors to find out!

This seriously scares me.

Why? Well, why should you wait biting your nails to know what happens next? You seriously don't know why you don't have to?

Answer (for those who still don't have a clue): because it's a historical drama, godsdamnit! You obviously forgot your history lessons. You apparently have no brain. Words fail me.

My mom told me I'm to get a job at McDonalds tomorrow, since I couldn't get a job anywhere else.

It might sound conceited and spoiled, but it feels like it's the end of my life. Am I being too prideful for thinking that applying for a job at McDonalds with a diploma... hold on, my tourist guiding one makes it two, so with two diplomas degrading?

I mean I didn't learn foreign languages and slave away at university to end up working in McDonalds, washing toilets and frying fries. I could have gone to arts school! I could have studied the things I wanted to, after all, worst case: I would still end up in McDonalds.

I know it's just McDonalds. But... it's McDonalds! I'm scared and repulsed by the whole idea, and I can't help but wonder if I'm too prideful and conceited or if I have any right to be offended by the whole thing.

After all, I speak and write English better than some of the native English and Americans I know, which doesn't mean I'm perfect, but still, I speak some German too, and I'm decent enough with computers. I'm also intelligent enough not to have to fry food for a living. So why is it that I have to apply for work in a fast food joint to make a living where imbeciles could do the work?

I know. Jobs are scarce these days, and I should be happy if they hired me, because then I'll have the money to move and finally have my own life. But I'm not. The idea of McDonalds scares me.

And also, I would have to cancel all my English teaching gigs, something I actually enjoy.

I hate this. I don't wanna. It's degrading.

Am I spoiled rotten or just sane?

Gemstone convention yet again

So I went.

It was cold and busy. There were some horribly expensive stuff, some less expensive stuff and stuff I could buy. I mean you could find minerals you were looking for for a reasonable price, and for prices you'd have to sell your house, car, mother, your body and immortal soul too to be able to afford.

Since I knew the layout already and had a pretty good idea about who sold things you could actually afford, I did buy me the things I wanted, and some I didn't know I wanted, but once I laid eyes on them... well, I just had to buy some.

I actually went to buy apatite. Possible a pendant, a stone with a hole in it, but only two booths had apatite. One was horribly pricey, the other was pretty cheap.

This second booth had boxes with price tags on them and thrown in was a huge mix of stuff. I was digging around in the box that contained necklaces made of all sorts of gemstones... and found apatite. So I dug around more and actually found another! And then I found a matching bracelet too! But since the necklace was a bit too short, I bought two to link together and look like a proper necklace. So I bought two apatite necklaces and a bracelet. The woman who was selling them told me this was the first time they had them for sale. I suspect this was the reason why they didn't ask for a higher price. They didn't know it was so sought-after. Oh well. It was one of the cheapest booths, so I didn't complain. Two necklaces cost me less than one necklace of the cheapest stone from other booths.

Then I bought some stones with holes in them. As it turns out, they became trendy, so they make them in bulk now and sell them cheaper. Not that I'd mind. There was a booth that only sold egg/oval shaped stones with holes in them, and most of them for the same price. So I picked a fluorite for my mom (she is very happy because for some reason she skipped that booth and didn't even see it) and a mokait jasper for myself, because I love that stone. (The patchwork-looking purplish-cream one on the right. It is untreated and natural. ^^ )

The honey opal took me completely by surprise. I thought: wow, what a cool name, and opal to boot, I want one! Also, it wasn't too expensive. So I took about 20+ minutes to dig around and consider all of them. Most of them were bright yellow and looked like someone dropped them and they have sort of shattered. They did look interesting, but I wanted something special and more to my taste. So I picked 3 ones, a pale, a yellow with some black spots and a dark one.

I bought the yellow, because both my mom and the guy running the booth told me that was the prettiest of the three. I went back 5 minutes later to change it back to the darkest, because after all, I liked that one best. ^^; It looks like pine honey, or honeyed tea with a drop of lemon. Yum. (The honey coloured stone on the right, obviously. Showing back and front.)

I also bought 4 little ruby beads, because I already had one bigger ruby bead and some quartz ones, and using 2 silver spacers of last year's convention I made a ring. (In picture). The smaller beads weren't that expensive, which is a plus.

And that's all I bought. I drooled over the moldavite pendants as usual and some tourmaline stick pendants with silver, but didn't buy any. Those are some seriously pricey stuff. Especially moldavite. :( Pity. (Althogh I was tempted to buy a small piece and attach the hook-thingy on top at home. But no, not this time. Maybe in november I shall buy a small moldavite piece, if I still crave it so much. It's not like they'll be any cheaper. *sigh*

Anyway, when I got home I took out my silk chords, and since I had lots of leftover colours, I used them for the pendants. Also, I made a button knot over the stones to give them a special look. It looks way better than just pulling a chord through, no?

Oh and I also bought some spacers and jump rings and other stuff. Before you ask, not silver. I'd be broke if they were. They are cheap metals for beaded jewelry. But hey, they were much cheaper than in the shop, thus I bought some in bulk. I always run out of these, so the cheaper the price, the happier I am. :P

So... these are my treasures!

First cold of the fall, check

I seem to have caught a cold, and yesterday was pure hell. I've used up 200+ tissues and felt like dying every other second. Correction, I wished I would die.

Not the best way to start my autumn and my September. But hey, I'm through my first cold of the fall. Yay?

I had to dry myself out before dropping into sleep, but after 9 glorious hours of sleep with weird dreams, I have gotten through the sneezing and runny-nosed part of it. Yay indeed.

Also, I started today with a bunch of grapes (a controlled way of slowly re-hydrating my body) and some comfort music. I just can't stay miserable and grouchy when Trent Reznor purrs in my ear that he needs my discipline. ^^

So I guess I'm still alive. And I hope my cold will be over by the weekend, because... I have great plans!

Magic Study

I finally finished the book. Not because lack of interest, more like lack of time.

I liked it. Again, it wasn't as perfect as any of Pratchett's, Gaiman's or Butcher's writings, but it was loads better than the usual fantasy crap I encounter.

The bad:

• The characters were too amateurish and sometimes too idiotic. I mean you have an all-powerful master magician and she's a sweet, delicate thing who hugs people on their first meeting. Yikes. That kinda hurt, but that was the worst.
  
  
• Also, some of the characters were mean and turned out to be mean, some were pink and fluffy and happy and turned out to be... *gasp* pink and fluffy and happy, and some were bad-good-bad again. Their niceness turned into evilness at the drop of a hat, but that was one guy... well, ok, two.... (And you had some who were mean and turned out to be big hurt puppies...)
  
  
• Jade is still at 6.5-7.0 hardness and does NOT require diamonds to carve it. Tsk, what a stupid big mistake.
  
  
• Some of the horse portrayal was very silly. It started great when she started describing the mind of the horse... and then she had to ruin it with making it speak like a wise old guy with bad English.
  
  
• Actually, it was the Mary Sue stuff I complained about last time. The writer is clearly inexperienced, but trying... sometimes a little bit too much and thus ruins the impact. But over all, I still couldn't stop reading.

The good:

• The initial horse portrayal, as we slipped into its mind was awesome. The first few lines, first scene was very good. It was awesome. I mean I could imagine that the horse was wondering why there were two people sitting on it and not only one. That was good. The writer should have left it at that.
  
  
• Colours. The description of colours was wonderful. It was new and very welcomed. I loved the descriptions with all the vivid colours, although the descriptions were still not enough.
  
  
• Valek. Once he appeared he stole the show again. He was, as usual, very good. A nice, lived-in character, finally. Neither good nor evil, it showed that the writer worked on him. I wouldn't be surprised if he was modeled after someone the writer knows and holds dear.
  
  
• The story is still interesting, and the background story of two cities, twin cities in fact, one south the other north living in a precarious balance, the delicate peace brought by treaties is marvelously done. The military dictatorship of the north and the somewhat failing democracy of the 11 clans of the south (think bribes and magic influences) felt lifelike and just perfect.
  
  
• Another interesting story with plotlines that actually surprised me. Yay!
  

So, while the writer obviously lacks in her character portrayal and needs to wipe her Mary Sue henchmen clean and write some realness into them, the background was perfect. At least the main protagonist isn't a Mary Sue... half the city wants her dead. :D

Over all: I liked it, although it wasn't perfect.

*sigh*

I give up. I started watching The Watchmen, and it's too boring, too idiotic, too pointless and badly done for me to enjoy. I simply can't make myself enjoy it. That's a first. I've never ever stopped watching a movie in the middle before.

And I thought Sin City was bad. Geeez.

So... simply put, the movie is pure, unadulterated crap. I enjoyed watching... even reading frikkin Twilight better! I'm serious!

I got as far as 01:39 and I can't decide if the whole fucking thing has a plot or not because so far it had none besides the impending Dooom *gasp* that may not even come and that's only mentioned in passing between time jumps, uninteresting conversation and gore, gore, gore.

Visual: crap.
Sound: cheesy.
Plot: nonexistent.

The storyline keeps jumping back and forth without any discernible meaning to it, there are profound silences, all-around depression, people who brood and brood and brood endlessly, gore and reminiscence, more gore and more pointless reminiscence, rape and pointless silences... and more gore.

To all who suggested I watch this crap... Next time, just don't. Apparently you have no idea what I like... I don't watch crap, thanks very much.

Heavily medicated and going

Yep. Allergy hit like a brick wall and now I'm half-stupid and half pain-in-the-ass. Amongst the numerous side effects that show up, my brain feels like it's stuffed full of cotton and my braincells have been siphoned out to make space. My motor functions are even more fucked up than when I take half the dosage... it sounds pretty much logical actually... and my head hurts. I'm not really paranoid... I'm way too paranoid sometimes and I can bitch like nobody's business.

Yeah, it rocks.

But anyway... I bought some more yarn, since it's cheap and I was in the vicinity... and I had to kill some time. Then we went to the trusty old shop we buy clothes when there's a sale. It was a sale today. I got 3 awesome pair of pants: a pair of blue jeans with studded and sewn-on patterns, a simple black pair that's a bit wider at the legs, a style I like very very much and a brown one - and a coat, brown that goes with the brown pair of pants.

It was cheaper than where we usually buy the jeans and I didn't have to search through a mall-ful of shops to find 3 pairs of jeans that fit nicely and a coat I like... and fits. An added bonus.

Thus... I'm happy. But my head's killing me.

That's life.

*owies*

PS: I'm still sneezing, my eyes are tearing up periodically and I feel like I have the flu, only the medication dries up my mouth. I'm parched and sneezing and my head hurts. I love the world.

Poison study

As many of you know, I haven't found any decent fantasy novels out there aside for Pratchett, Gaiman and (Jim) Butcher books. (Since Rowling believes that her Harry Potter books are NOT fantasy, and since book 7 was utter crap anyway, I left her out.)

Mostly, I'm unable to stomach the horrid fantasy names, the tree hugging, the "wonderful creatures" and the happy-happy braindead, busty maidens who are more often than not in distress. Also, sickeningly sweet or overly dramatic stuff makes me retch. Lengthy explanations of perfectly beautiful men teenagers (Seriously, beautiful? Men?? How about good old drop dead gorgeous?) and sweet/wonderful smelling morning breath and skin sparkling like diamonds just freak me out. And makes me think that the writer should keep her overly sexual daydreams to herself or her blog and get her brains f*cked out... not that she has any.

Anyway. Back to Poison study. I saw it in passing while I was browsing for other books. The flashy cover and the title interested me. At first I thought it was going to be horrid and mushy so I didn't touch it, but yesterday I was bored so I decided to give it a go.

What can I say? While the book was not perfect, it didn't contain lengthy odes of descriptions, its plot wasn't as predictable as the average Hollywood movie (Although most Hollywood movies do not have a plot anyway.) and captured my interest. Most of the time I completely forgot I was reading a fantasy novel. It had a solid background story that sucked me right in and while it had some Mary Sue-ish elements, it wasn't a Mary Sue book. It also had one of the best description on magic (regarding the story's universe) I've ever read in fantasy novels. (Pratchett's still the best in my book.) I must admit I was thoroughly amazed.

I was also very much interested in the main male protagonist, a potions master. Angular face with black hair and blue eyes - he was the only character given so much detail. A pathological sociopath, his hobbies included poison study, assassination, espionage and Machiavellian political warfare. When bored, he poisoned the food taster's food, leaked false information for later usage, carved exquisite statuettes, used stealth to move around so he would stay in shape and played mind games with people he wanted to trust. What can I say, the guy's awesomely created.

So... what did the book lack? For one: descriptions. I could have done with some more description about the female main hero (Yes, you heard right!) and mostly any and everybody else. The castle was described a bit, the clothes, but still, it all could have done with more details. It also could have done with a few jokes... But that's just what I like. And I must also admit... it could have used e bit more passion. I mean it sounded a bit detached, although the protagonist was detached anyway, but I hope the next book shall be better.

I'm going to read it tonight.

And our new fleet is ready for takeoff!

I must admit, I love making these little critters. Even more so that I might have a chance of selling them. Might, don't forget. Not will. But I hope I can.Oh and did you know that after his movie: The Brids, Hitchcock wanted to make The Butterflies? :P

Yay for Yarns!

Today, I have been to some second hand clothes shops... Places where they sell second hand yarns. I might have mentioned that already... I can't remember.

So. These second hand yarns are all sorts. Acrylic, wool, mix or anything else. You can find untouched balls of yarn and little leftovers in all colours, sizes and types. It's kind of fun too, to dig for little treasures.

And it's also very cheap.

Today I visited two shops and I bought about 0,7 kg never used wool yarn. All for the price of one ball (50g) of wool yarn purchased in a (first hand) yarn shop.

I have all kinds of colours, and as I said, they are mostly never used, or leftovers. Still, even the leftovers are in the original ball-shape and they are not dirty.

I've found great treasures, and I'm so very happy! ^^

Edem's challenge

So this is the challenge.

Today's music is from Kövi Szabolcs, who plays the flute. I first met the guy at the plant convention in April. It's a yearly event, and at that time a few years ago he was the guest. There was also a woman invited who makes wonderful ceramic figures, mostly bigger ones (weatherproof) for garden ornaments.

Now the place they held the convention had a small, artificial lake. On the banks they placed these pretty ceramics, dragons on pillars, a pot-bellied, half-naked man reclining with a fishing hook, big, sad faced exotic birds, a few mermaids... let's say it looked like an enchanted place. And amidst these ceramic wonders the guy stood and played his music. Suffice to say the music fit in well and it felt like falling through the rabbit hole and seeing a piece of wonderland.

(I actually intended to link "Szertartás", but I couldn't find it, so you get "Búcsú a varázslók erdejétől". Enjoy.)

Oh, PS, my froggie from the fair is made by that woman, if you haven't noticed yet. ^^