Well. I'm going in tomorrow. The date of my operation is Monday, although it can happen anytime... first thing in the morning or noon... hopefully not in the afternoon, but possible.

They'll be removing the rest of my thyroid and all the other stuff the cancer might've spread to in that region. Radiation therapy prolly won't start until I have recovered from this second operation. (Which we could have avoided if the bloody surgeon checked if my thyroid cysts were benign or malign... but he didn't, hence this second op.)

I just hope, that my voice won't be damaged any further than it already has been.
And it is damaged, as the doctor at the laryngology declared yesterday. He said "oh, the vocal chords are compensating nicely" but sure, he doesn't care it's not him who lost his pretty voice and ends up screeching instead of talking, so thanks, but no thanks.

All I can do is ask the doc to pay more attention to my vocal chords this time and hope against hope that I will be able to speak when I wake up after the operation. I don't know what I will do if I wake up and I'm unable to make a single sound.

I mean then and there. Everything I've learnt, both teaching and tourist guiding requires speaking, I literally built my career on my voice functioning, and I don't even have my nice speaking (and singing) voice anymore.

Sure, I could sue if they render me mute, but it's really not what I want. I want my voice, dammit. I don't want to lose any more than what I had already, and I don't want any more bad news.

Yes, it could happen, but I really don't want to lose what remains of my voice. I can't talk loudly, not to mention scream (ha, they can't hear me a room away, I need to clap my hand if I want to be heard) so at least I wish to keep this.