Silly Game

Ok, game is played by collecting all your music in one music player software, setting it to shuffle and answering each question with the song it plays for you, one after the other.

These are my answers: (But since I forgot half my music at first, I did those questions again, and there were some funny answers I just couldn't delete so... if there are two, second one is the second try.)

What is your name, or what should it be?
Malice Mizer - Baroque

How's your life now?
Era – Don’t you

What's your nickname?
Nanase Hikaru - Dragon Summon
Deep Forest – Deep Weather

What's your theme song?
Kazuhisa Yamaguchi & Ichirous Imai - Delicious (Sax Version)
Origa - Serenata

What's your best friend's theme song?
Kövi Szabolcs - Mese a Tűznél
Matsuda Toshio – Kaze no Tamakura

How will your life go?
Coldplay - Yellow

Will you marry?
Bush - Swallowed

Will you have kids?
Blondie & Pat Benatar – One Way Or Another

What will be your job?
Nanase Hikaru – Gehena Ruins

Will you finish school?
Origa - Date of Rebirth

Who is your best friend?
See-Saw - Fake Wings
See-Saw - Obsession

Who will be your significant other?
Leonard Cohen – One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong

Who do you fancy?
Delerium - Euphoria

How will you die?
Enigma – Mea Culpa

How do you feel at this moment?
Meredith Brooks – I’m a Bitch

What's your favourite song?
Tommy february6 - Choose Me Or Die
Therion – Symphony of the Dead

How would you describe your folks?
Queen Adreena – Cold Fish

And your best friend?
Maaya Sakamoto – Sanctuary
Yoko Kanno – Nomad Soul

And your teachers?
Pet Shop of Horros – Damage
Hikaru Midorikawa - Spiritualized

Your significant other or the one you fancy?
Dead Can Dance - In the Kingdom of the Blind the One-Eyed are Kings

Yourself?
Adiemus - Song of Tears
Therion – Secret of the Runes

What's your best trait?
Yuu Yuu Hakusho – Bokutachi
Nine Inch Nails - Wish

What will you be or should be when you grow up?
Amedeo Minghi - Vattene Amore
Prodigy - Firestarter

How would you describe this test?
Roxette - Looking for Jane

What makes you angry?
Elend - The Embrace

What makes you sad?
Nightwish - Sleeping Sun

What makes you happy?
Madonna - Vogue

What makes you want to dance?
Phil Collins - Another Day In Paradise

What is your favourite colour?
Nickelback - Diggin This

How would you describe yourself?
Enigma - The Voice and the Snake

Who is your biggest enemy?
Lacuna Coil - Cold Heritage

Who do you hate?
Prodigy - Your Love

Who do you love?
Lesiem - Occultum

Who do you want?
Amethystium - Fable

Finish the sentence!

I wish...
Ayreon - Sail Away to Avalon

I'd like...
Dead Can Dance - The Cardinal Sin

I wanna kill...
HP Lovecraft Historical Society 12 - It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Fish-Men

I wanna eat...
Nightwish - Bless the Child

My head...
Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight

I am...
Lighthouse Family - Absolutely Everything

My best trait...
Nightwish - The Carpenter

My eyes...
Round Table feat Nino - Chobits OST - Let Me Be With You

My hair...
Queen Adreena - Friday's Child

My face...
Lacuna Coil - Falling Again

You should do...
Phil Collins - One More Night

Advice:
Yoko Kanno - Promises Not Necessary

How do others see you?
Dead Can Dance - The Carnival Is Over

How do you see yourself?
Graveworm - In Vengeance of Our Wrath

A new record

Whoa. 9 hours of shopping... a new record. o.O

No, I haven't killed anyone, neither have I been killed... Although both my dad and I had books with us, so... We were able to pass the time productively. Although seriously... 9 hours!!! Holy coconut!

I also had lots of new clothes lined up for me, which was really, and I mean it, really pleasant, because I finally got the skirt of my dreams, although in a different colour. Well, who cares. It suits me just fine.

So... what did we buy? I shall write a "short" list.

• Bead supplies. (I got into the whole mess because I begged my dad to drive me by car to this faraway shop, because I didn't feel like wasting 5 hours of my life just getting there and back...) So when the shop assistant told me they'll be raising their prices in a week, my mom told me to buiy everything I wanted, NOW. She also bought a load of beads, which I will have to work into art for her. *sigh* It's not really amusing using the old patterns and colours I dislike. Oh well.
  I also got some much needed beading thread in colours, and some gunmetal grey, matte bugle beads. Never tried those, so I think I'll have fun with them next week.
  
  
• My dream taffeta skirt, long and bell shaped, silver (although I always wanted a taffeta skirt in a deep green, but oh well) and the "frills" at the bottom sewn with silver thread in flowery and vine patterns. It's beautiful, really. I was so in love with it I couldn't leave it behind, not like I wanted to, mind. ^^
  
  
• Jeans. In a faded grayish blue. I was into the gray ones and the faded teal-green ones, but they only had much bigger and much smaller. *sniffle* So blue jeans it is. Not like I'm complaining or anything.
  
  
• A deep green skirt with lots of layers of some see-through material, every upper one shorter than the last. The longest layer reaches beyond my ankles. Good. It also looks good on me, although knee-high fuzzy blue socks are a no. Well, I didn't dress up for trying on fancy clothes, I dressed up for friggin cold and jeans and boots. Course the shop assistant had to make fun of me, but once I told her if she minds my presence, I could go, somewhere else. She decided to smile instead and stopped talking. Good.
  
  
• A new umbrella. Mint green. Works fine, was cheap.
  
  
• New case for glasses made of wood, covered in silk with oriental flower patterns. Also green and pretty.
  
  
• A small lipstick holder box thingy, with a mirror. Also green, with floral patterns. (Leaves, mostly.)
  
  I think I'm developing my own pattern here, don't you agree?
  
  
• Random knicknacks, new shoelaces for my boots, a picture frame...
  
  All right, I admit it, there was a sale and everything went for the same price, so I got the umbrella for the same price as the lipstick box with the mirror and all the other stuff. I also bought some earrings, some I will give away. Will keep the spirals. I am crazy about the spirals.

Well, that's about it, folks. And so far I survived, although now I need to kick the cat out. No, not animal torture, I'd only prefer if he went home and not begged for food from the neighbours (us). The little bugger...

Something wicked this way crawls

All right, you can call me crazy.

But something is coming. I feel it in my bones. Again, you can call me crazy, but things have been too quiet recently. It feels like the calm before the storm. You know that feeling... when everything goes utterly silent, nothing moves, the air gets heavy, electricity zaps you when you touch things, you feel a sort of pressure, your skin tingles, and then...

...and then everything explodes into motion as the wind picks up, starts really blowing and then the storm is upon you.

Of course, with storms you can usually tell by the heavy clouds, but here... here you only have that feeling and hear the silence and observe the complete lack of movement.

And man, I seriously don't want to be hit by lightning.

Decided to read some Bleach, because every time I look at the cage while sitting next to it or walking next to it hurts.

So...

• Kenpachi is still damn sexy (and unhinged) as ever, check.
  
  
• Crazy dude with scythe dead, check.
  
  
• (Slain by Ken-chan, check. Yup, that guy still has it in him...)
  
  
• Ulquiorra still being mysteriously emo, check. (It pisses me off, that guy.)
  
  
• Gin's funny and cute as always, check.
  
  
• Aizen's a creepy thing as usual, check.
  
  
• Woohoo, new hot(meaning unhinged) guy fighting Kira, check.
  
  
• Killed by Kira a few episodes later (a shame, really), check.
  
  
• Gone blind because I saw a seriously ugly and overly muscled transvestite (I quote his battle cry: "Beautiful Charlotte Coolhorn's miracle sweet ultra funky fantastic dramatic romantic sadistic erotic exotic athletic... guillotine attack!" *retching noises*) in some hideously low-cut pants and tiara, check.
  
  
• And then he transforms into... see picture for reference.

Blind yet? I sure am.

In loving memory

2002-2009

I hereby announce that after a few short days of illness, and a horrible doctor's visit, "Merlin" (better known as oi, you little fuzzy) has passed away today afternoon.

Rest in peace.

I had one wicked dream

Story goes:

We were going to crash a wedding. I was going with the guy who was the real groom, and the bride's one true love - until he got tricked by her evil stepmom and her "uncle", and now the "uncle" was the groom, although he was a monster, really. A shapeshifter actually.

Anyway, we went in as guests invited by the groom, and the real groom dressed up as a woman. The uncle took one look at him and was smitten. I think he knew the groom was a tranny. Heheh. Also, it was a masked ball. It was the day before the wedding, some sort of silly celebration. Tradition, really. It was really highclass, and pretty scary too, felt like Halloween.

The uncle, since he had a crush on the groom, let us in. We went to the upper level to hang out with "the monsters". The groom's partner was a zombie, (intelligent, but ugly) and mine was a guy who turned into a glass skeleton in the moonlight. I think I saw too many crystal skull films. (Maybe on Discovery? Oh well.) Anyway, my partner was the skeleton.

Sometime later that evening, the uncle started playing Thriller (never saw the clip, but I made my necro dance too many times...), and as it began playing, and the lights were turned off and moonlight streamed in and nearly all the monsters changed to their monsterly appearance and danced to it in perfect sync.

It was almost scary how utterly silent they were as they gracefully swept through the dance. I saw some of their glowing eyes and some leathery skin, and I felt a chill, like I was standing in a desolate graveyard, a haunted one and witnessed something I shouldn't have. I reclined against a pillar to remind me where I actually was.

Anyway, after this the monsters started to speak one by one, giving a speech about how they got ignored, hunted and how there are less and less of them. And each of them complained that they are hungry, and they stepped out one by one onto the railing of the inner balcony and looked down to pick someone they would eat.

The vampire (I think he looked pretty much like the vampire from Brooklyn) started talking fairly early, and then it looked at me and came closer, even though I sat with the monsters. (Why I sat with the monsters in a pure white dress and white sandals and with a white shawl on my shoulders, I had no idea.) I watched him, scared out of my wits for a moment, utterly terrified and riveted, but in a milisecond I wasn't scared anymore. I knew I wasn't supposed to be. So I looked up at him incredulously and wved him off with a "Oh, just go away.", that worked quite well.

But then rain came, and I whipped my pristine white shawl over my head and ran like hell, chanting "I'm gonna melt, I'm gonna melt!"

Well, that answered my question.

Anyway, dunno how it could rain inside a building, maybe it was a garden for all I knew, or... dunno (it was a castle btw), but everyone tried to run to safety. I ran to the stairs, the staircase was really wide with a stripe of a railing running up it, with empty space under it, so I ran under the empty space and sat under the wide, wooden railing. I didn't melt, luckily.

And then I saw the bride's little (not that little actually, he had a deep voice, which is all I know) brother, who was hiding and reading under one of the side railings next to the wall, which was wide enough only to cover him, but he seemed to have been hiding there for a long while now. He was also reading avidly, ignoring the party and the freakout of the rain. He also sat next to me and when I heard his voice so close I jumped down a few stairs, utterly scared that he would see me.

I realized just then that I came for him, although I had no idea who he was... I think. I guess I came to kidnap the little brother while the real groom snatched the bride to safety, whatever.

I was just about to declare to him I came to save him, when the stepmom came strolling up the stairs with some pompous older woman, complaining about all these rowdy partygoers, who were apparently all invited by the groom (uncle, and theyx were the monsters), who were all obviously left wingers. I had to slep my hands over my mouth to stop myself from laughing so hard and loud.

And then they went up and I turned to the little brother... and then I got woken up by the phone, godsdamnit.

You can all take one guess who I was supposed to be. In the comments please, not on msn.

Dissing Fate Stay Night Part 2

Ok, I know I'm talking about an anime, and anime tend to be absolute rubbish with made-up stupid foreigner names and utterly stupid things stolen and thrown in for fun for Japanese who obviously have no idea what they are talking about...

But this is so bad I just have to go on with the list. It is sort of hilarious... Too bad it pisses me off. So...

• Our knight lady is actually called Arthuria. She's also a King. Well, I've always wondered about Arthur and Lancelot, but still, if she's Arthuria, what the hell is going on with Ginevere? And who fathered Mordred if both Arthuria and Morgause (Arthur's sister) are female? Hmmm... I wonder. No, I really don't wanna know.
  
  
• Oh, and our noble King, who is a lady knight, who is a frikkin woman, for the gods' sake, is a dragon as well. Uh-huh. Of course. Because the knights of the roundtable love dragons... Suuuure.
  
  
• Then, they introduce the plot twist: we need to have sex to defeat the bad guys. Actually, one girl attacks the hero and then attacks the lady knight. Yup, because threesomes are awesome and they save the world. (Kinda makes me wonder about Future Peter and Future Hiro and Present Peter... *blush* Hold on... that's two Peters and two more Peters than I'm usually interested in so let's switch Present Peter with anyone else... Like... Daphne. They need at least one girl, no? Too bad Angela is related and too old anyway...)
  
  
• The archer guy. Servant. Summoned little pet, or whatever. I'll post a picture. First time I saw him I knew he reminded me of someone. Doesn't it remind you of someone? Seriously.
  
  
  Just take a looooong look.
  
  And... I seriously prefer Mr Stampede, tyvm.
  
  
• Anyway, the archer guy's special power seems to be the ability to massacre the English language and utter phrases in this butchered English that makes me cry laughing. Oh, and he also utters a lot of nonsense and certain sayings that rattle of dust.
  
  

So far, that's it. Will add more as it goes on. I mean it's a goldmine.

Thanks to my darling chinchilla being a total idiot, I have now been properly acquainted with chinchilla penises.

Why, you ask? Well, this idiot had clogged his weewee with something, probably a mix of bathing dust and his own poo. It was dragging after him, and he had been way too amiable recently so I knew he was sick. Well, his wee-wee couldn't be retracted properly, like it should have been, and it was big and well... a greyish shade of purple. Ewww.

Since my mom got home early, thanks to the thick ice coating the streets (her boss actually sent her and her coworkers all home because paying for the injuries would have cost more), we had ample opportunity to scrutinize poor Merlin's privates and try to figure out what to do.

Obviously, Merlin would have frozen before we got to the doctor, so that was a bad idea. (Not to mention the doc still hasn't gotten back to me with his fur shedding problem after a whole fucking year, although I'm thinking it's probably depression.) So we cleaned off the fur ring, and tried to get that clogging out. We used olive oil on the fur ring and then soapy water to melt the clogging, but the water didn't help, neither did the soap.

By that time we all had touched poor Merlin's weewee, who took it rather stoically, the poor sod. We put him back after a while and studied up on the net and tried to come up with ideas.

That's when I decided we were utter perverts, because I suggested smearing jam over his weewee, so he'll clean himself, like he is supposed to. I mean he loves jam, so... why not?

My mom suggested hanging his weewee into a small cup of wine. We did the latter after my dad came home and told us we need to help the poor sod, asap. So we took off an old perfume bottle's cap, cleaned it, filled it with wine (it wasn't much, really, before someone gets a heart attack, and not the best wine either), and stuck his weewee in. Then, after a while we both took turns in trying to take out the clog (realizing in the middle, that he was able to piss, but not retract his equipment), and then, after a bit of clean up, we stuck it back into the wine. It nearly perfectly retracted, so now we put the poor sod back to his cage to clean himself.

We might rinse, repeat the wine process later on.

Lesson to be learned: don't clog up your penis or you'll get your dick stuck in wine.... or jam. :P

Dissing Fate Stay Night

What the title says. And blergh. Braaainsss!

I thought maybe after a few months I could start watching anime again. The Bleach fillers scared me away and I couldn't find anything I liked.
I thought maybe this time I'd found something a bit interesting. And then I started watching. My first reaction: Ye gods!

• The plot so far is mediocre at best. 7 mages are fighting for the possession of the Holy Grail. The grail picks them to fight each other for it. Yeah, because the Holy Grail needs a massacre. And the Grail picks lotsa twisted and evil people and like... one good guy. Uh-huh.
  
  
• Our main hero is a Mary Stue. Everybody loves him, girls fall for him at every turn. He is a goody two shoes who want to save everyone and he has a sad, sad past. (The last "Holy Grail War", which was about 10 years ago wiped a whole city, and he was the lone survivor. Sad, sad. He was adopted by a magician. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the adoptive dad's fault the town got wiped btw.)
  
  
• Our main hero believes girls shouldn't fight, because they injure themselves and girls should stay pretty and in the kitchen, protected by men. I hate that guy, ok?
  
  
• I cackled up when one of the summoned fighters (each mage summons a fighter, it's in the rules that the fighter fights for their mage who summoned them) called his lance Gáe Bulg! Well... it sounded a bit different, after all they were speaking Japanese... but seriously...
  So... Gáe Bulg. The wielder was once called Lancelot, although it might have been just his profession mis-pronounced. But... should I even mention that Gáe Bulg belongs to Cúculainn and NOT Lancelot? *sigh* Wrong fucking nationality, geniuses!
  
  
• But let's go on. Insane guy can be pointed out by his shady look, even from the opening. No surprise there.
  
  
• Knife-licking insane, demonic (or maybe demonic) chick, check. With long, gravity-defying spidery hair, check. Who also wears a skintight miniskirt and loves to crawl on objects Dracula-style (head down, backside up), check. Who has a dangerously low-cut top without anything suspending her boobies that are as big as mine (like F-cup), check. Antigravity boobies rule, no? Wish I had a pair of those.
  
  
• Adorable little girl, who is really cracked and insane and has blood red eyes and a huuuge monster: check.
  
  
• Huge monster called Berserker, who's really Heracles... that is when I felt this thing was utterly, utterly stupid, and I was so very sorry that nobody ever cares about getting any, or even one single little fact right.
  
  
• Girl, who's really a knight and nobody, nobody ever said she can't be a knight, check.
  
  
• *whimper* She's wielding the Excalibur! *hysterical sobbing* (I remember chanting "don't say Excalibur, if you say Excalibur I'm going to scream", but she called her sword Excalibur anyway, while she offed a Pegasus.) Besides the fact that the Excalibur rests with the Lady of the Lake, who is no friggin knight, there are no female knights of that period. Not sure about later but I haven't heard of female knights so far. And... the Excalibur, for the gods' sake! Will the pain ever stop?
  

Well, so far, this is it, and I'm only halfway through this insanity. Good gods, please spare me.

Falling out of love feels like a bitch. (NO, I don't want to get into a relationship now, thanks.)

That said... on a happier note: I decided to get my room in order. I'll throw out all the junk and organize some stacks of the lesser used books I'll get to my flat once the smog clears. Because yes, besides having issues with the Russia and the gas, we also have a smog problem... some kind of natural phenomenon not letting the smoggy air clear out... but there'll be wind and snow in a few days and that'll clear it out, or so I was told.

Whatever happens, I need to clean my room of the junk I've been storing for ages. I'll throw out not-used old items and old bags that look pretty but can't be used anymore because getting them fixed costs more than getting a new, prettier one. Nuff siad. Sentimental stuff may or may not stay, because they are mostly the plush toys... But we shall see. It all depends.

There is a cavern beneath the world. aka The Man. The Woman. The Snake. The Bowl.

Some hardcore Sandman fans might have already realized who I'm going to talk about. Or maybe some people who like Norse mythology.

Last night I've read Season of Mists, and I've had some pretty interesting dreams afterwards (taking a long stroll in the cavern beneath the world), and woke up still in the dark. And then I had to read certain parts of American Gods, because I couldn't remember, and because he was in it...

So... take your three guesses, because I'm going to post a picture. ^^

So... yeah, this guy.

I always had a soft spot for trickster gods. They tend to be adorable and cunning. I also remember, during the exam of... well, it was either Celtic Mythology/History or Viking History/Mythology, because the teacher was the same and the oral parts of the two exams were pretty much overlapping...

So, I remember that during the exam I was supposed to talk about the books I've read. You had to read 3 shorter books, 3 long studies or one looong book for each exam, by the way. And I picked the Edda, because that was long enough, and I was, still am a sucker for mythology. And in the end, she asked me which god I liked best from the whole of Edda.

I said Loki without thinking, right off the bat. There was no competition. I mean Loki, the god of chaos, change, the trickster, someone who had so many sides none of the other gods did (and a very clever head on his shoulders), is still my favourite. Of course he is usually associated with winter, and I wouldn't say he is that benevolent (actually he will take part in Ragnarök, fighting on the side of Jötunn, but let's not go there), but hey, he's still cute.

Uhm... that's about it.

New hairdo. The stripes got too wide, but I had to do them alone and I was tired from dying the rest red, so I'm happy with what I have now.

I think it's not too bad either.Oh and before you complain, I froze while waiting for the dye to work so yeah, I was pretty frozen at that point.

On the other hand, I managed to scratch a deep red line on my nose while asleep. Ouch. But it'll heal.

I just realized I completely forgot to mention it in September that my hair got chopped off. And then in early December, when I had it cut back because my hair grows fast.

I was insane, ok? I miss my long hair. I can't even tie this back into a pony tail! Also, my hair never had been this short my entire life. (Save when I was born...)

Sure, short hair is convenient and needs less attention, but... It also saves me much trouble, because I used to spend at least one and a half hours with my hair when washing and drying... and don't get me started on the dying process...

Actually, mine needs to be dyed again. I did ponder about stopping with the perm once and for all and going back to my original colour... but that was for like a minute. The perm might be dropped, but going back to my natural hair colour? No way. I'm not going back to being blond.

Unless of course I run out of henna for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I'm thinking of putting black stripes in my hair again.

So, this is how I look these days... with glasses to boot. Ok, I admit, the picture sucks... will put up a new one once I re-dye my hair.

Oh. My. Gods!

DBZ movie! American style! American actor shall play Goku. *shakes head* This is really...

And Piccolo (my personal fave after Vegita - bite me, I was young once) will also be played by an American actor, but that one I really don't mind. *cough* Piccolo will be played by James Marsters.

Laughing yet? No? I guess nobody really remembers the guy. Looke at the picture, you might.

Yeah, I admit, I really liked the peroxide/radioactive blond vampire. Hey, he had a leather duster, docs and witty one-liners. I know, I know, he also had a very fake, very painful British accent, but I wouldn't know that. (I'm blissfully not a native English speaker, duh.) And for gods' sake, he was hot! No, not the hair colour. I don't go for blonds, I really don't. But... the cheekbones might have played the part, as much as the boots. ^^ And come on, the guy listened to Sex Pistols!

Oh well... we all know I have a soft spot for vampires and green guys (no, not zombies)... and of course the Pyramid Head... In the movie... *gulp*

no comment

the pencils work just fine

What the title says. I used... 6 of 10 colours, mostly greens and brown and yellow, but I also used two of my blues.

I started with drawing eyes and... it turned out like this. Sorry for the name-stamping, but as someone wise once said: "It only gets stolen if you put it on the net". And while I don't think this is the most perfect, beautiful drawing in the world, and also it's half-finished, I'd rather nobody stole it.

So, this is it.

I'm so ashamed!

Today I braved the cold and went to buy myself some Derwent pencils, but I couldn't find any in the hobby and art shops. They had Conté and Bruynzeel. Sigh.

So I bought 10 new aquarel pencils. >.< Shame on me, really.

Of course since there was no Derwent Drawing, I felt cheated. Charcoal pencils are not that good, so I went for Bruynzeel Oil, but they had only one bloody pencil in all 4 shops, so I bought that one, which was luckily a kind of dark ochre I needed. And I asked them to please oh please restock. With puppy eyes.

Will take at least a month. *pout*

On a happier note: by going out into the city, I finally got to try out my new, pretty pearl eyeshadow, copper mascara and the candied apple coloured lipstick/gloss I got from my mom for Christmas. Not the blush, since I blush in the cold naturally anyway. The lipstick was a bit strong (and very different from the deep browns and dark coppers I normally use), but it didn't clash with my hair colour, strangely. So I added some peach lip gloss to it and it looked pretty neat.

But a note for future reference: even though chapped lips are less desirable than cold lips, dropping the lipgloss at sub-zero temperature is suggested strongly.

Whining, mostly

Slowly going insane. It's a very very cold winter. Every channel mentions it in their news every damn time. I'm not daring the cold if I don't have to. My back just got better and finally I'm not hacking up my lungs. Although my throat still hurts, mostly after sleeping tho... *whine-whine*

I decided to order beads and a bunch of S-Lon, because I can't really do beading without S-Lon - and did a short translation. Hey, money is money.

Still have one and a half season of Alias to watch, two halves of seasons of Supernatural (half of season 3 and the other half is season 4... they will air some more later in January... although I'm not that keen about Supnat). I have the third season of the IT Crowd and season one and two of Dexter.

I also wanted to re-read the Dresden Files from book 1 to book 10... or was Small Favor book 11? Dunno. Too lazy to check. I also want to read the Graveyard Book. It's kinda cute, made me want to read A Hat Full of Sky. And then maybe Carpe Jugulum... Or maybe... Wee Free Men. And of course I'd have to read Wyrd Sisters then too. And then there's Vörös Oroszlán I still need to finish... Yare yare.

And I feel so damn tired and droopy, lifeless even. Sometimes I think I'm half part plant because the lack of sunlight makes me utterly depressed.

Shopping list

Since it's freezing and if I can listen to my migraine, it won't let up anytime soon but will get colder in a day or two... I've decided to write a shopping list. It keeps me occupied in any case.

Derwent Drawing:

• 5700 Ochre (ran out of)
  
• 3720 Ink Blue (pretty!)
  
• 5160 Olive Earth (about to run out of)
  
• perhaps even 6300 Venetian Red or 6110 Sepia, although I don't use much red... but I love reddish browns...
  

Derwent Coloursoft:

• C320 Electric Blue, because it's really pretty and I want it
• C400 Mild Green or C380 Sea Green (I'm always in need of new greens because you can't have enough greens)
• C230 Pale Lavender or C240 Bright Purple or C270 Royal Purple (I love purple but... what the hell would I draw with it?)
• C350 Icy Blue... I want but probably don't need that many blues... oh well, we shall see... do they give discounts for this many? :D

S-Lon (running low in every colour):

• black (works with the darker beads)
  
• grey (works with everything, save black)
  
• white (is cheap and works fine with lighter shades and pastels)

Swarovski rounds (because butterflies need their wings to sparkle):

• 4mm
• 6mm
• maybe even 3mm?

Should go to the store where I can pick from a bowl of assorted sizes and colours and buy them by grams... it is a cheap store anyway...

More to follow...

Shopping is Scary!

• My mom guilting my dad into coming with us to sit outside and hold our coats... check.
  
  
• Nearly freezing to death... check.
  
  
• Trampled over by kind looking old ladies who wanted to get to the shop first (It wasn't even the shop we wanted to go to... good gods. *sigh*)... check.
  
  
• Incidentally, getting scared shitless of the post-Christmas sales... check.
  
  
• Nearly running out screaming upon the first sight of the full, really full shop... check.
  
  
• Managed to snag the last, very last piece of purple... all right plum coloured sweater (Yay, go me! I so bought that one. ^^)... check.
  
  
• Trying on some sinfully expensive silk gowns while my mom was trying on pullovers of the same bloody style in all the different colours for hours... check.
  
  
• Unintentionally flashing some old ladies the pentagram around my neck and scaring them shitless (It was just a small, one pointy end up pentagram for gods' sake! Why is it that for these things they never need glasses?)... check.
  
  
• Getting bored and finding two more different, low-cut black sweaters (And they even had some buttons on the front if I wanted to flash my boobies for anyone. *rolls eyes* Like I need to do that.)... check.
  
  
• Staring longingly at lace topped sheer stockings and then not buying them because I never liked the feel and don't wear any. (I'm also allergic to nylon. *sigh* And where would I wear them?)... check.
  
  
• Standing in line for more than half an hour... check.
  
  
• Freezing back to human sized ice cube on the way back... check.
  
  
• Looking disturbingly like a nun with my white turtleneck and one of the black pullovers... check.
  
  
• Being happy I only had to go to only one shop to find all my stuff... check.

Testing, testing

Huh. So... I was wondering... If my future employers ever want to check up on me, I'd like them to tell me their take of this picture.

So far I was told it's slightly sexy, slightly domina, slightly icy.
I think it looks like I've been drinking too much and wanna check if I have any nose hairs. I also think I scare the living daylights out of myself. ^^ (Btw, it also looks like my nose had been pushed to the side thanks to that line of light and me cursing at the camera. It looks funny.)

What's your take?

PS: it was taken before I had my hair chopped off. I kinda miss my hair. Snif.

PS2: I really love that you guys gave your take on msn, but I was hoping for some comments... oh well.

Survived Christmas. So did all my family members. Although I had been dragged to all 3 family dinners, I'm doing fine. Well, it made my flu worse, but then again, I lived through it.
We had my mom's godmother over (mine's dead and she never cared about me... I've never seen her ever), and she is a sweet little old lady. Properly brought up too. She was the reason the usual family fights were muted and almost nonexistent. Gods, how I love her.

Although I did get ranted at by my grandmother because I asked her to please calm down because she, in her enthusiasm to re-organize the table while we were eating (which was completely useless), knocked her glass over and soaked me twice. She told me once I'll have grandchildren and they will bitch at me (no, I really wasn't bitching, I was frikkin nice) I'll remember her and feel sorry. Well, since it was Christmas I kept my mouth shut. But I'm not sure I even want children. First I'd need to marry a guy I can stand in any case.

Problem is, all the food had made me sluggish. A few days ago I went out to shake the cobwebs off my feet and move around a bit, but it was so bloody cold my flu got worse. Again, godsdamnit!! And now it's even colder and I am going out of my mind because I need to move.

I guess it's time to do some workout, because doing bellydancing alone is so not enough. >.<

The Eurotrash Speaketh

I had a very interesting conversation, and it all boils down to different feelings about the 11th of September. Quite surprisingly, I had one of the tamer viewpoints, which is... well, pretty weird. Even Americans had more radical views than I did. o.O

Still, it was a discussion worth mentioning.

So what was my tame view?

I mentioned America deserved a slap on the wrist, but I'm not saying the people in question deserved to be killed. No, many probably didn't. But then again, Americans killed and robbed many, and retaliation wouldn't have been possible without civilian casualties. I mean a politician talking on TV would have been ignored, so I get their predicament.
To get noticed, they had to organize something big, something that goes out with a bang. I even understand that they had to destroy something big, but the trouble is, innocent (well, some were, although finding innocent people in this world is more and more impossible) people had been killed, and nobody stomachs innocent people dying.
So... if I were an evil mastermind, I would have made sure the building was empty and would have probably destroyed the empty building as a symbol (without a plane full of other people crashing into it) and would have hunted down the people who were actually guilty and had them assassinated in their own home, alone, without a fuss. Less trouble, less hate, cleaner and more proper. Also cold blooded, which probably delivers the right message.

Sweet dreams, huh? Well, still, that would have been my evil plan. No need to get innocent blood on their hands so people would hate them even more - but blowing up empty buildings works. Only punish those who deserve it and maybe take down America's pride a notch or two because the things I hear Americans spouting about other countries and continents nowadays just boils my blood.

Oh and by the way... I do NOT appreciate being called eurotrash. Yankee trash that uses this word to describe those who live in Europe and use their brains are no better than brain-dead coma patients. Only their mouth moves, sound comes out and they form big, angry and stoopid mobs - blaming any other country besides America for everything.

Oh right, disclaimer: am not a terrorist, not gonna be a terrorist, I'm not saying terrorism is good, neither am I saying I approve of it. But I sure as hell hate America a great deal for being the country that houses colossal idiots in huge numbers that have pride in being idiots and call us names because we use our brains. Nuff said.

I guess I could be considered a cold person, because now I'm seriously considering dating a guy from across the globe (any guy at the moment), so I don't have to spend all 3 days of Christmas with my grandparents or my parents.

When I told my mother that I don't feel like going every day over to my grandparents to eat together and... be together, she had a screaming fit. And since she is certified insane, I seriously don't want to cross her... much. She also told me I should spend time together with them while they are alive.

Fair enough comment. Were they anything but themselves, I guess I would do that, but I know better. Every Christmas lunch in my life ended up the same: my parents screaming with each other, my grandparents screaming at my parents, everybody screaming at each other, and me trying to hide amongst the coats (up till about 12 years old), sneaking away to try and watch TV or do something less boring and violent (but someone always found me to bitch at me, scream at me, tell me how stupid, disgusting or uncute I am), or ending up bringing a book and wishing I had a laptop, although I always scratch that idea since none of the fossils in that house have wireless net, so no use in any case. Every Christmas day spent with my family ends in a screaming match, ruffled feathers to last for days (and every day after it gets worse and worse), me wishing for a semiautomatic and amnesty after that or maybe just a hot bath and a razor blade. When I was younger, I still remember hiding in the coat closet and crying my eyes out every Christmas.

Boy, no wonder I love Cristmas. So I'm up for grabs. I just want a quiet, peaceful Christmas without my abominable family (Is it any wonder I want to leave, make my own and never turn back?), without feeling like the whipping boy of my folks and... just not living in a madhouse. Yeah it would be a Christmas miracle that'll never happen.

Just for the record... I hate the flu.

And because it has been a long time since I quoted poetry, here it is:

"La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos."

(Translation for those who need it:
"The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.")

/Pablo Neruda/

There's something incredibly sad in talking to "fellow" occultists.

(Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm one of them and I'm not saying I'm not. All I do say is that I remain a skeptic. - I doubt, therefore I am.)

So today's conversation was rather funny. So was yesterday's. I mean sure, I can just imagine some kind of horrid monster blazing down from the sky to inform someone that the world is ending and soon. Right, because they have a messenger service of extraterrestrials/angels/demons/any kind of assorted creatures about the impending apocalypse. The apocalypse, that I have been informed will happen in a few years. While I have been told that a few years ago, and almost every year, of course. Why is it that they never come true?

And also, there is the matter of "gruesome days to come". Like hell. No, not literally. Every year I hear the ominous declaration that this year will be horrid, or at least more horrid than the last one. Half my occult contacts greet me with that at new years' or at Samhain, or whenever, being all solemn and I'm guessing quite serious. Those are the times I feel like asking them some serious questions like: "Wasn't that what you told me last year too? And the year before that?"

Well, the sad thing is, if you dare doubt them, they'll declare you insane, they might even mention they have been seeing some clouding of your "third-eye" of recent months, and you shall become persona non-grata. Well, there are certain advantages of being a pariah, after all they won't be bugging you with all that "This year shall be worse than the last!" ominous death-rattle shit, but... well, not for long. Also, there are a few people I can stomach it from, but actually... Not from many. I believe there shall come a day when all the dates of ill-fated future apocalypses that were oracled shall pass, and they will be left with nothing.

Although I am pretty sure the apocalypse shall happen during my time. Mankind has accumulated a bunch of very dangerous toys, and there are no gods, and yes, I know I said there are no gods, bite me, to slap their wrists (I did not include myself because I would never use them unwisely) to drop them and leave them be. I am sure we (they!) shall destroy all of humankind in the most gruesome, impossible and stupidest way ever. And I shall facepalm in the midst of all that destruction and look on critically and say a few sarcastic words before biting the dust.

Dragons. They are the same as unicorns. They are cute, cuddly and utterly, completely unrealistic, and exist only in people's imagination. Show me a bloody (no, figuratively speaking) skeleton of any kind of dragon and then I shall believe it hasn't all been just an imaginary creature the people in the middle ages thought up when they saw a dinosaur skeleton.

And there are people believing they are dragons. They are multiplying by the seconds. I honestly don't know why some formerly intelligent occult friends of mine decided to go insane and fantasize they see dragons or they are dragons. My mind's blown, I admit. It was really uncalled for. Is that thing contagious or something?

And last but not least... what's this mania about inventing more gods? I am kind of resigned to the fact that half my occult contacts believe in Lovecraft's creations, or more like believe they exist. I think that's their prerogative. I mean they have the right to pick their imaginary friend. And who says any other man-invented god is better? Because they were all invented by men, so who cares. Although I feel a bit uncomfortable, but... that's normal. I'm a skeptic, I have the prerogative to feel uncomfortable being addressed by people believing in their imaginary friends religiously. (Pun intended.)

So that's it. Do I sound scathing? Because I feel like thumping my occult friends over the head so they can get their brains right, but then again, I am in no position to say what's right. I'm only in the position to stare at them blankly and question if they are in their right mind to believe in something that has no proof whatsoever of if said something has already been proved wrong or imaginary.

Oh well.

"You’re in my blood like holy wine"

Well, shit.

Here I am, wanting to write some stupid "dear diary" crap, because today's just too much for me, and I can't because the ones it concerns can speak the languages (well, combined they do) I speak. Oh well.

So here's to confusions, to things better left unsaid, to weird confessions and to people who should really know better. Better than me in any case. Oh and also to old, lost loves, who should stay dead as they were for 10 years.

Bliss!

Just came back from a Sear Bliss concert, and it was sooooo awesome.
(Hungarian Black Metal band. But they are actually good at it.)

So... uh... I had guys entertain me, I had friend(s) with me and it was that good, old fashioned screaming type, you know that music that incorporates the tortured dying screams of a small village. I'm a sucker for that.

Also, I got some appreciative stares, which is never bad. Neither is checking out the meat market. And my... yum-yum's all I can say.

For those who have no idea but wanna hear some:

Here I am, still awake thanks to the translation fucking up my usual routine to go to bed earlier. Not by much, but still.
Anyway... I stumbled upon this.
It kinda reminds me of the Very Secret Diaries. I think it's awesome.
Alias fic btw. Read at your own risk. I'm in the middle of the first part and already laughing so hard...
Anyway... I should go and sleep. Wish I could. Not really tired, damn it.

I've never thought I'd say this, I really really didn't. But thank the gods for my glasses.
My eyes have gone way beyond tired today and putting my glasses on felt like heaven.

A year ago the doc told me I seem to have astigmatism. (For those who are too lazy to wiki it up: "Astigmatism is an optical defect whereby vision is blurred due to the inability of the optics of the eye to focus a point object into a sharp focused image on the retina.")
She even asked me to get glasses if my workplace would pitch in. They didn't, but my mom insisted on getting them, so we did. Selecting a frame I liked... well, that was something nightmarish. I even wore my glasses sometimes, but it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean I'd see details a bit better on things 5kms away, so... No big deal.

But my eyes were so bloody tired I thought why the hell not. So I put them on and good gods, most of the strain is off.

And anyway, I'm always told I look good with glasses.
Still, this weekend I think I'll leave them home, if things go well. Getting laid is never easy on glasses. *.~

• Re-sent the letter.
• Got paid.
• Slept little.
• Got a frikking new translation to do that would take up all my weekend. Gonna take some time off or just dunno... do half as I suggested to my "boss". I have plans for this weekend, godsdamnit.
• Whatever. I hate to work for that ass, but then again... it's work.
• Daphne rocks.
• I think I'm developing a small crush on Parkman. I blame Eric Weiss.
• I need to get laid. Soon, preferably. No virgins this time. Why is it that it's only me attracting all these... first timers? >< (They were way over 20, tyvm.)
• Turtle kicks ass.
• I want more Heroes, strangely.
• Whoever decided to use Baron Samedi's name for Heroes is a dead man walking.
• Pun intended.

Random quote:

" I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Crashing to the ground"

I think someone out there is trying to tell me something...

I mean I got my letter back. The fan letter. *facepalm* They said "attempted, not known".

Sheer annoyance ensues.

I few things I hate in TV-shows

Watching a few TV-shows these days I decided to write a list of things that drive me mad watching them.

• I hate shows with obvious plot twists or no plot at all (Alias is saved by the lot of hot men in the show).
  
  
• I hate it when I have no favourite characters: it means I have no reason whatsoever to watch said show. The only saving grace would be the interesting plot.
  
  
• I'm feeling very annoyed when a show takes me for stupid, and tries to sell me stuff I know more about than the script writers... and I know they are very wrong. Because they always are.
  
  
• The over-use and possible abuse of "dude", "man", "mate" or any swearword. It's just boring and shows that the scriptwriters have a limited dictionary. Which is just plain sad.
  
  
• Too many women, too many stupid women, too many fake boobs. Can't say I'm into women, and my boobs are bigger than their fake ones, so nothing interesting in there for me. And stupid women should just be shot. They are a disgrace.
  
  
• Azazel. Every demon sighting and demon activities in every show are either linked to the Devil, or Azazel. I'm getting really annoyed with poor Azazel getting blamed for every stupid plot twist and virgin-defiling. Why not someone else for a change? I mean it looks like they opened the book and couldn't pass past letter A. And there are many more demons in Christianity than that.
  I know, I know, I have a soft spot for Belial, but hey, why is it that he hardly ever shows up anywhere? Also, there is a huge list of other worthy demons they could pick but no, they get stuck at Azazel. Thing is, what of Asmodeus or Astaroth/Astoreth?
  
  Oh well. I shall shut up because the way I talk people have already pegged me for a satanist, I'm sure.
  Even though I only know about this because I prefer not to stay in the dark.
  
  

Anyway... so far, that's it. But I could go on...

I just can't shake this song out of my head. I blame South Park.

Guys I Like

A rather short list of men I fancy in movies/TV shows.



Takezo Kensei /Adam Monroe
... a rather megalomaniac, immortal villain.
Cute as hell if you ask me. I'm a sucker for clever, manipulative anti-heroes/villains with big puppy eyes.



Captain Jack Sparrow.
Nuff said, methinks. ^^
Wish I could have nabbed one from the scene in Davy Jones' Locker. (Although not the chicken or the one who fancied the goat...) I'm sure one less Sparrow wouldn't have been much problem. They had so many...



Anyway, I was wondering... do you see a pattern here?

There's something that has been bugging me in Alias. (Besides all the cliché and the predictable plot-twists when there are any.)

They always, always get the Hungarian accent dead wrong. I don't know what kind of accent they use, maybe a slightly modified Russian, but it is nothing close to Hungarian, and it has happened a few times now.

I wonder why they never considered hiring Hungarian extra for the cast, as they don't get much time on the show anyway, but thinking about it, even the people who play Hungarians look Russian to me.

Oh and have I mentioned there 's supposed to be some kind of Russian Maffia named the "Triad" located on Batthyány tér? (A Vásárcsarnok épületében mellesleg. Ami régi irattárnak szolgál. Hát persze.)

Very funny, not. I feel like kicking those idiots in their collective backside.

America shits itself and the world wipes its ass.

There are times I hate America more than usual. Thanks for the global financial crisis, we really really appreciate that.

About Falls and Aliases

First of all, I've watched The Fall today. Movie from 2006. Very very pretty pictures. Plot is easy enough and the ending is not that hollywoodian as it could get, so I kinda liked it. Not a favorite, but worth a try. Also, the Mystic and the Indian look hot. Both only with long hair flowing down on their backs. Bite me.


Oh and I'm deep into the second season of Alias. I admit I started watching it because of Julian Sark. I had to see the younger David Anders, because I'm going through a severe case of Adam withdrawal. Sniff. Oh and I was told Sark is the unadulterated Adam.

Well.... not really. I mean he looks cute and cuddly and so very young, but Adam had that sparkle. This guy's just too young and inexperienced (save in murdering) to be satisfactory enough. But... less is more than nothing. Also, maybe in later seasons he will be worth watching.
Also, the show's just too silly. I can't imagine some of the gadgets to work in real life and the plot twists? I could see them coming from miles away. But I saw the plot twists in Harry Potter so I guess I'm not as easy to please as any random American. *snicker*

Anyway... what has been bothering me besides the not too surprising plot twists is the bed hair. Sark looks like a chicken nestled on his head, or maybe it still is slumbering there... or he have been genetically crossed with a chicken... Bed hair looks cute on him one or two times, but when eliminating an elevator full of Russian maffia bosses, it's just very very strange, inappropriate and way hilarious. I just can't take anything seriously when he shows up with that kind of chicken-hair. (It actually looks like the back-end of a chicken, but let's not go there, all right?) Also, he's way too expressionless. I guess he was still in learning that time. He can do the puppy eyes, the sour look and a kind of serious robot-face, and that's about it.

I miss Adam. I miss all those grimaces and smiles. That's it, this guy NEVER smiles! Kinda makes me wonder when he'll be getting it right. The guy without facial expressions, he is. And a pretty face in itself does not amuse me for long, those who know me know that.

So now I'm just trying to follow the plot (they've been double crossed AGAIN) and hope Anders' botox infusion wears off soon, or I might try making a drinking game of Alias.

Fanmail, nuff said

Ok, I confess, I did it. I've sent my very first fanmail.

My dear friend says there's nothing to be ashamed of, but I kinda feel ashamed. I guess it's a default setting with me. I'm ashamed, I feel ugly and... no, never stupid, just sometimes not well-informed.

Well, at least I have things to work on. Guess how boring it must be for perfect people. They can't perfect themselves, that's why they have to live someone else's life. Sad, no?

Anyway, I sent the guy a gift too. I make pretty bracelets, so why not. My dear friend asked me what happens if he appears on TV wearing it. I think I'd be proud, happy, and I'd soon laugh my arse off at rabid fans who'd say they bought it for him.

Actually... I feel pretty silly. Gahhh... fanmail, for the gods's sake!! Where'd my pride go? >.<

I was pondering about black magic. (Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe in the white magic-black magic crap, I only believe in gray and black, as white does not and cannot exist. I do believe I did a long rant about it on this blog in the old days... Oh and notice me *not* using the word "magick". Ick!)

So... what about it? Whether to use something that will change another person or not. I don't take these kinds of things lightly, not anymore. Of course there are things I want and things I seek, but am not sure anymore it's worth ruining someone's life over this. Because it might. No matter what you do there are always consequences, and I'm too sure anymore that I do want to do that certain something at all costs.

I did once, I don't think it ruined anyone's life, but it did have certain consequences that I did not anticipate and was sad about. So right about now I'm trying to work out if it's worth or not. I's no longer about if I'm worthy or not. Not anymore.

All right, I've decided I'm worth it. (Those who need to know will understand.) I'm just as worthy as the next person, so bring it on! ^^



Also, I've been thinking up a number few Teen Horror Movies I'd like to watch.
List as follows:

• I Don't Know What You Did Last Summer, And I Sure As Hell Don't Care
• Brightness
• I Still Don't Know What You Did Last Summer, And I Can't Care Less
• Halloween: Just Stay At Home With A Cup Of Hot Cocoa
• Pinkness Engulfs
• The Forgiveness - Now With Real Plot
• The Evil's On Vacation - Milla Jovovich Grows Boobies Instead
• The Token Black Guy Survives!
• Without Destination - Death Has Better Things To Do

Well, that's all, folks.

Woohoo! They finally pulled the Cuddy card!

Been waiting for that since season 1. Although it probably means they used up the last interesting plot twist. I mean it has been there all along, waiting, building up...

But I shall enjoy it while it lasts. ^^

Wow, so much is happening in one day!

So, if I go to the "priests and prostitutes" Halloween party, I'm gonna wear my high-collared coat-thingy, that looks pretty priesty, and under that I shall wear the most whorish outfit ever (well, whatever useful I can find in my clothes cupboard anyway) with as much boobies as possible without actually showing nipple.

Also, I shall wear much mascara just for fun.

I already have an outfit picked out for that possibility.

...holy crap, I sound like a brainless twit. Gods save me. *facedesk*


On a completely different note: I've come face to face with my high school crush today.

Well.... he's still as ugly as ever. But I liked him for that back in the days. At least he didn't greet me. It would've been the most awkward moment of my life. Or one of them anyway.

Awwww, way too cute!

Can I has hug too plz? I don't mind either of them... or both. *grin*

Apparently, I'm in possession of an evil stone. (Or so I'm told.)

Yipee.

Well, I wouldn't say it is nice. But it works for me. It is the first stone I fell asleep holding and was still in my hand when I woke up in the morning, and trust me, I have a tendency to fall asleep holding stones of some kind.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a crystal-freak, or a gemstone-freak even. But I like them. They are pretty and I do believe it lifts my mood if I have one or two on me now and then.

About their healing properties... well, everybody believes what they want. I say what I said above: there are times when having one on me makes me think it actually makes a difference. But most of all they are pretty, and I'm made of female so... duh.

Anyway, back to the stone. I actually do feel something. I did think it wasn't the most benevolent of things to put it nicely. I also bought it from a small gift booth in a place people consider to be the globe's belly button.

And of course I had to test my sleeping with the stone and lo and behold, I've slept through 5 nights with it in my hand, and I never dropped it through my sleep even once. Now if I wanted to point out a strange thing, that's one. I always drop whatever I'm holding in my hand during the time I sleep, and of course end up clutching the pillow or well... another body instead. *slight leer*

Oh well. But I must say I had some pretty weird, dark and foreboding dreams while I held the stone in my hands throughout the night. Interesting. Call me weird but I want more of that.

Good news. I'm learning to be nice, caring and utterly detached.

So far I'm not really good at the robot mode, but I'm working on it.

Have a nice day! *perfect smile*

I've walked all over the city for a bloody birthday gift (no offense, you know who I'm talking to), but of course it was no use. The book is unavailable in the whole frikkin country. Of course they offered to send me a price check and ship it here from across the globe but it'd take months.

Then I've found it online, in the city, for a reasonable price. Hallelujah.

Well, at least I got a nice workout and broke in my new, super soft pashmina scarf. *purrr* I also wandered about on one side of the Danube. The weather was nice, although the wind was a bit chilly, and there was a bit of fog, but still, it was fun. I'll take my pleasures where I can.
I also walked over one of the bridges and took pictures of Saint Gellert. The waterfall and the statue is surrounded by trees in autumn colours, which is very catching. The not-really-fog fog was a bit of a bother but I will try to download my pics in a while and see if they could be used or not. I always wanted to go there in full sunshine to take better photos, but it was not to be. *sigh*

And as an utterly non-related topic: I have apparently lost a friend. Sad, but it happens. I guess the distance was a bit much, or maybe he's not the kind of person to keep his friends. I'm sad, because I hate losing friends, but I won't keep those who want to leave.

I know I know, I've become a cold person. Bite me.

Hey, I've learned a new actor name! (Yup, fresh out of any kind of interesting news, sorry.)

I franly don't care much about celebrity names. (I get the occassional weird stare when I look blankly at people and have no idea who they are talking about.) But I remember names like Terence Hill, Bud Spencer, Whoopi Goldberg... because I loved their movies. I even remember Chuck Norris *shudder* because it always comes up in jokes but other than those... not much remains stuck in my head.

Oh, and of course there's Bloom, my dear friend's dream guy, and... well, there's Johnny Depp. But I prefer Captain Jack Sparrow, thanks very much.

...now that I've mentioned this many, I'm thinking I'm not that bad with names after all... heh...

But anyway, I looked up who played the hero (actually, it's on one of the piccies in the post before *headdesk*), Takezo Kensei. He really reminds me of Terence Hill.

Now I never really liked blond guys so don't get me wrong, but I have a soft spot for certain bad guys with that same smile Terence Hill has (Is he still alive? Will have to check...). I guess I've watched too many of his movies when I was a kid. ^^ But I'm pretty sure I never thought he was hot, just very very cute, like a kid. He has that really enthusiastic smile. I really like his smile.

But anyway, back to David Anders. I won't say he's hot. I'd be lying. But I find him really cute. Like a kid. And he also has that boyish grin. Actually, I think it's his grin and well, grimaces that caught me. I plan on sketching it sometime.

I used to draw with coal a lot. Not these days because I just don't feel like it and I have other things to do. But I used to draw faces and bodies and well, all kinds of inanimate objects as well.

I had a classmate in highschool, who was extremely ugly. But I loved his face. It gave him character, I guess. He looked like a mix between a frog and a wolf, with pumpkin teeth. You know, the kind that pumpkin heads have with lots of spaces between teeth. Well I loved to draw him too.

Well, it was so easy to draw him, and I really liked the feel of coal instead of graphite. Drawing was always an excuse to chill out. I remember we had this great group of totally insane artists in training. We were holed up in the castle district in a huge, airy, full of light old room on top of one of the castle buildings and created the silliest stuff. Ok, make that creative.

Like we used some goey glue and paint and whatnot to create old fashioned slides. Then we dug out our old crayons and drew only with a limited amount of colour, forming thought patterns and dream sequences in one, or used only letters to create a picture. I remember writing Poe to form a guy with his finger held in a shushing motion. Yep, those were the days...

In loving memory... lol...

Sooooo true ^^Well, a shirtless Adam would be even better, but I'd settle for a live one. Sniff.

Taken from a fangirl's site.

Tim Kring is a dead man walking.

Well, that's what I'd like to imagine. I hope he gets tortured by fans worldwide, because what he did to Heroes' Season 3 just proved he's a huge idiot.

• First he destroys all the maturing Hiro has done through all of Season 1 and 2.
  
  
• Then he makes Mohinder, a scientist with a brain use something on himself he never tried out if it works or not. Like hell he would. Also, he gets saddled with burning jealousy for powers, a jealousy he never exhibited in Season 1 and 2.
  
  
• After that, Sylar just up and starts to change without any cause. Kinda fucks up the whole cause-effect thing. It's completely without reason. Oh pleeease.
  
  
• Then the Parkman arc. Very boring, very stupid... actually I would have liked to watch paint peel instead. Or dry even.
  
  
• And then he plays the "I'm your parent (this time it's father)" card again. It's attempt no.4 throughout the Seasons. (Claire's real mother, Claire' real dad, Parkman's dad, and if we want, we can event count the I'm your uncle thing of Peter's)
  
  
• And then attempt no. 5 with papa Petrelli. YUCK!
  
  
• And last, he kills off Adam Monroe the most OOC (out of character) way possible. The guy who livened up Season 2 and who could have made Villains interesting. The guy dies begging for his life! Oh come on. It's so disgusting. There goes the only character I watched the show for this season.

So as of the end of episode 6 of Season 3, Heroes is officially dead to me.
Good riddance.

I hope that idiot gets the worst rating possible.

Great questions about Heroes that have been plaguing my mind:

• What the hell happened to that woman Peter took to the future and why's he angsting about her? Why not just jump there to the future and take her back? It'd take like... 10 mins.
  
  
• What happened to all those pheromones between Mohinder and Sylar? I mean all through season one it looked pretty much like sexual tension. I was just sitting there, staring and thinking "when will they finally jump each other's bones and get on with the show?".
  
  
• When did a respectable congressman's wife have time to secretly get pregnant and give the baby away? Also: why?! (Yeah, I'll bet they'll try to concoct a plot about Company's orders and whatnot. If it was a plan, besides it being too silly to mention, it backfired in the most ironic way.)
  
  
• Why not just make Hiro a girl, and have him/her finally do Ando and later on Adam/Kensei? I mean come on, it's worse than the Mohinder/Sylar thing! You can even see the sparks go off. And the angst! You can never forget all that angst. (Oh and by the way, hands up those who think season 3 episode 04 ended before the coffin-sex scene.)

Ok, I suck. And it takes a friend's mistake to make me realize it.

So here it is: I suck.

I have been... well, technically in love with a guy for no apparent reason for a long time now. (Well, love is a word I don't like to use in regards of persons, because it tends to invoke images of over-passionate feelings and idiotic tendencies.)

I guess I have been clinging to the idea because... well, it's not easy meeting guys like him. Although the more guys I know I realize they do tend to disappear from time to time for no apparent reason. Also, we had similar tastes, but oh well. That's just one thing I like in a man... Well, the dark hair too... But dark hair is... well... not difficult to produce. (Hah... tell that to my dad... uhm... right, wigs produce hair too ^^ )

Anyway, waiting for a guy to get the frikkin clue is completely hopeless as I've realized. So is hoping they take the initiative. It's no fun if I have to attack my guy if I want to get any kind of (mild or less mild) action ever. I mean hey, is even a kiss less than to be expected?!

Oh well, sorry, I seem to have wandered off the path here.

So. To hell with idiots who can't decide things on their own. I'm going to go alpha male hunting. If they can actually read a book from cover to cover, and don't grunt much, they'll do. I'll let them drag me to their lair and... we shall see. *.~

Is it a good or a bad sign that I started writing again?

Of course not the chess one, that story needs a bit of a plot in it. And I seriously need to work on the bits.

I'm working on some of the old ones, with a different touch. Somehow they always turn out gloomy and depressed with no way out. Well, no way that leads you out of any of them relatively sane or in one piece.

I wonder if it's because of me. I mean sure, it's me writing it, but... why? Am I that hopelessly depressed on my own that I can't pull it together for a happy ending? Or am I just simply depressed and need a good kick or two to leave my emo feelings behind? (Gods, the very idea that I'm emo is horrible.) Or maybe it's the medicine talking... well, writing? Or is it the story itself, or even my hate for pink, fluffy happy endings?

Oh and speaking of which, the homeopathic medicine is fishy. So I shall post this now and relocate to the toilet, because it seems like I'm allergic to the pills... and my dinner would like to greet the world sooner than expected. Well, at least it moisturizes my throat as described.

And Here's to Him

You have probably no idea who I'm talking about. Very few of my friends know about him. Mostly because I prefer to be viewed as sane. Of course it depends on different views and beliefs. (Were I'm from a different country... well... sorta, it'd be perfectly all right. I'd even get a pat on my back...) And of course because he's special.

So who's he? Well. The ones who know him know, so does he himself, and the rest shall wonder because I really prefer to stay out of the insane ward, thanks very much. ^^;

Still, I wanted to say thank you because being bedridden, with a really runny nose, blocked ears and unable to talk is sometimes the most annoying and unbearable thing. To me. But he kept me company and told me stories. And hey, being entertained is really the best on these occasions.

So, thanks. It really means the world to me. Come back and hang out with me when I'm not partly delusional from the fever, the rum and all that medicine.

A few days later...

Well, seems like my new allergy medicine (which is a variant of the one I used before, the one that made me a hysterical bitch by messing with my hormonal balance) is not perfect either. Seems like my bouts of depression and hysterics come from that (as well as my darling relatives who use me as stress relief... but hey, I give as good as I get).

Oh well. Started taking Aerius. Can't say it works that well.

I also seem to have caught some nasty flu-thingy. My throat hurts in any case. I'm told it's crying out for penicillin. Seems like I'll go to the doc tomorrow.
Meeep.

I decided I either developed some strange depression problem all thanks to my hormonal turmoil (well, I'm a woman, I have something like that monthly), or my life has hit rock bottom (I hate this word -> ) emotionally.

So I figured some thinking would be in order, but not sure it'd help. So if anybody has a better way how one can figure out their lives, mail me.

In the meantime I'll be off visiting some graves.

I was pondering...

While watching some gory horror flicks, I began to wonder how much blood a man can lose, before getting light-headed and fainting. Or even dying out of sheer blood loss.

If you watch any horror flick, you'll see that we are prolly some kind of übermensch, because people on the screen bleed out double the amount of blood a normal human is supposed to have - and walk away like nothing happened.

Maybe we should re-check if the doctors were right...?

Arrrrrrrrrrr!

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, me mateys!

Relatives...

Ok, so I'm 25. I've been told that so many times I'm heading for major depression.
My grandma called too, to tell me when she was that old, she already had a few months old baby.

So I've just got my diploma last week, currently jobless (but hunting for one), without a husband (thank the gods!), but hey, who wants to knock me up for granny to be happy?
Make it... great-granny then?

I want my summer back!!

Lookie What I Made

Ingredients were: tamagoyaki (used zweigelt instead of mirin), cucumbers, smoked salmon, wasabi, apples.

And let me tell you, it was yummy! (And lasted for a day. Lucky me, smoked salmon does not go bad. ^^ )

But had to use the new nori, as the old one has gone bad. Shame.

Searching for Jesus

New Firefox

I've done a stupid thing. I said ok, download it. And my comp did it.

And then... I saw... New designs! And the trashing of my poor faves toolbar. Whoever did this ought to have a few hard trashings bestowed on him too.

Has he not heard of the saying: what ain't broke don't fix it? Prolly he just ignored it. Well I'm saying an old thing that has been good for centuries is not to be changed overnight for the same reasons women did not just switch their corsets and knee-long skirts for miniskirts in an instant. If you want a change, do it gradually, because otherwise all you get is chaos. And annoyed customers.

I liked my buttons looking like that and that godsdamned stupid idiot went and changed them into some futuristic nightmare! Who the fuck asked for that?!
Then he goes and murders my faves list. No thanks, I prefer my faves list alphabetically, organized by folders and a few drifters on the top (also in alphabetic order with the folders included) so I can quickly check in on stuff with the topmost links. I had it organized! And then comes and idiot and murders my poor system!

Could someone please tell the idiots they just disembowelled a good thing there?

Side Effects

I've read over the side effects lists of my medicines again.

Muddled thinking and sleepyness is in there, as usual, but it also lists paranoia.

I guess I can say I'm resting easier because I know now that I'm not going insane. I was getting a bit edgy about being paranoid.

Also, bed temper and depression is listed as well. I've shouted at some people already for not much reason so I'm guessing I've got that too.

I'm also getting some unwelcome hair grow in many places that is... well, not my head. It's annoying as hell, but at least not that much, yet. (Superstitious knocking on wood surface.)

All in all... I'm alive and so far I have not scratched my eyes out. Yipeee.

ooops

Yup, ooops. I kind of wasn't here most of the time, was I?

I mean I've beend reading this. No work, still. I am trying but I either know too much or I have no experience or both. Funny that. >.<

Also, I've been enjoying the summer and my frikkin allergies, damn them and all. I'm up to my ears in medication, I feel muzzy and woozy and my head is full of cotton and I feel like crap and I'm still sneezing. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it or not.

Love life? What's that? I mean most of the guys I know are either useless bums, too far away, would never work out or the exes of my friend(s). The rest, who are neither don't even realize I'm alive. Yipeee.

Also... when would I have time to have a love life? When I'm half-dead from the allerigies and medication, or when I'm a nervous wreck from my parents' nice advices and well-meant insults? Yeah, I'd be the perfect girlfriend, I'm sure of it.

Otherwise life is fun and yay, and all that.

Of Caves and Suchlikes

Ooookay. So I haven't written much the past few months. Sorry about that. Kinda busy and whatever.

So... Been having strange and interesting dreams again.
2 nights before or so I have been dreaming about working with computers in a small-ish room with a few fellow co-workers. In a top building in a tower, with foliage all around us. We were planning some kind of holiday in an artificial world. It was certainly intriguing.
I had a little peek. It was in a small town with huge towers and solid looking walls around the town. It gave me a feeling of peace and excitement. It was also close to twilight, and we were planning to hike up to somewhere in real life so we left. We wanted to do a ritual of some kind. (No, no blood letting, just spending some time around a campfire and doing... harmless stuff.)
So we camped out on a hill with twilight and big trees and lotsa greens and foliage and lots of hills around us, butt still somehow open and I had a sense of real peace. (No, it didn't give off a far away from civilization kind of feeling. It was more like a nature and civilization hand-in-hand feeling.)


Anyway, day before this night I've dreamt about being in a party, hunting someone. I felt like we were in Russia, although I don't know why. It was just a feeling. We were tracking by tram line tracks and a map. We were going on a long, wide and straight road. I remember our guide/leader telling us it'd take us 3 days to get to the next city. (It was mostly greens around us.)
Then we arrived at an abandoned factory building and we were searching it thoroughly so as to find the criminal.
I also had someone with me I ought to remember and perhaps I can. Not telling. I also had this strange feeling of being protected and being in a happy place.

Last night...
I've dreamt about a school that was overrun by soldiers. Of ignorant parents and idiots. Of newspaper people and all kinds of people. It was the grand opening of the new semester, and we were all there. And then war happened, and we sought refuge in the tunnels and cave system under the forlorn hill the school stood on. (I'm pretty sure it was that place I was looking for 2 days ago in a short dream sequence.) Anyway, I was with a small group of people, kids, grownups, all sorts, running around the cave systems. We also had a brochure that led us to a central cave, which was huge.
This central cave had a huge, tall ceiling with stained glass windows that were lit from the other side by electricity to give the impression it showed us the outside. It also had lots of paintings, new, old, ancient, prehistoric. All in harmony and side by side.
Our goup broke up and I was traveling with a small boy and the guy I was talking about in another dream. We also had a couple and maybe one more person, but they took another fork in the road and we were kind of lost, and so were they. I think the other person was blond, with short hair. I'm not sure.
Anyway, after a while we found a small, blue door (the caves were mostly grey and whitewashed fr some strange reason, and well-lit with electricity) and my partner went out. It was a tunnel that ended in a parking garage. He led the boy out and helped hi find his parents, and then came back and told me we should really examine the cave system more closely.

And then I woke up.

Well, since it's summer and all I came up with some pretty beaded accessories. Although this one is a bit more daring than the others. Guess why.

The dangling bit goes between the boobies, and thus catches more interest.

I also took down the photo of me wearing it because... it was indecent.

The Wish Day

I name this day the unofficial wish day.

And I shall start.

I wish I had a normal mother with a sense of style, a few working braincells, no alcoholism, who's not actually the most insufferable, disgusting and malevolent bitch in my family. (And trust me, my family is not as fun as it sounds... We have a shitload of insane bitches, for example me...)

I wish I could find an actual, long term job which does not require me to travel through the whole city for 2-3 hours and actually pays ok. Well, I'm working on it, honest. It's just hard to get your first job without any experience. Oh boy...

I also wish I did not have allergies and asthma, so I could actually leave this frikkin flat and not feel like my lungs have been torn out, that my eyes are so itchy even clawing them out would be an impovement and that I'm suffocating in general. Joy of joys, I tell you.

I also wish I didn't have this urge to curse people, because it's pretty hard not to. But I am so not going to curse without reason. Things go bad when you do.

At the moment... that's it. Feel free to add more.

Working is *FUN*! - Part 1

Right. Since I'm still waiting for my dreamjob while I don't have a stable one, I accepted a 2-day job to organize papers. This is the story of how it happened.

Day 1

I arrived early. It was... in the middle of the city. Like... about a half hour travel with mostly anything I could have got on that took me in that direction. And I didn't want to be late, hence my earlyness.
I finally found the place. Peep show on one side, sleazy bar on the other side... in front of me (behind me the door to the big, old, tattered building) a huge construction site with a half- finished huge building. With lots of noise. Oh joy.

I pushed the button once. No reaction. I pushed it a second and third and... you get my meaning. Still nothing. After a while some people came out so I ran in to the second floor, where this foundation thingy was. That part of the corridor was locked with a cheap wrought iron door, so I was stuck. I started waiting around.
After about 20-30 mins and old man came out and started bitching to me about why I don't go down and wait at the street-door where I am supposed to, that's why they have these little door bells with speakers. I *looked* at him and asked "Shall I go down again to call them then?" I also added that it does jolly good to my asthmatic lungs to sniff all the construction work's trash. He huffed, he puffed, and shambled away, shaking his head. I was a good girl and refrained from kicking him down the stairs.
Then the door I was pretty much standing in front of opened and an old woman peeked out and asked me what I was looking for. I told her I was here to work for the foundation, but they stood me up. And I didn't really feel like waiting next to the peep Show sign. She understood. She told me they were nice people so they shall come by sometime.
That's when I phoned the guy who sent me here, and I actually got a response. Not to mention that as soon as I put the phone down, my new boss arrived. He was migtily apologetic. He said he had a good weekend. (Duh. So did I, but I managed to wake up.)

Anyway, we went in, and he started stacking up the stacks of papers I should put in order. I got scared. But I started working. Sometimes I had to go and ask but I pretty much started sorting thestuff out.
Then, whenever I was ready, he came in and put more stuff on my desk to sort out. I was very *very* miserable Cinderella. But oh well, work is work.
And then he came in and told me I should look out for this and this, and if I found any I should put them somewhere else. - When I was finished with lots and have put them away neatly.

So he wanted me start all over from the beginning yet again?
LIKE HELL, GODSDAMNIT!

I just kept quiet, nodded and decided I shall be faaaar away when the shit hits the fan. Hopefully. They weren't paying me enough for this.

The guy came in and went. He was walking around with his mobile phone surgically attached to his ear. He was angry with a guy who talked bad about him on some forums so he wanted them to block and ban him form the community. So he called various people to tell them not to protect said person and that he shall kick him out so hard...
Then he sat down, watching while I worked and started bitching. I nodded and worked. (I still believed I had a chance to leave early if I actually completed the jobs. hah!)

Anyway, after loads of work, I went to have dinner. He said he shall be here, I don't have to worry. So I went, ate and came back as soon as I could. Till that time someone had shat on the doorstep of the street-door, and left some dirty newspapers lying about. Cute.

I pressed the button on the bell. Guess what? Nobody was home. So there I was, standing between a sleazy pub, a peep show, right next to a big, ugly pile of poop and got stared at by lazy construction workers, who started to look more and more hopeful by the minutes. So after some bitching I went, bought beads at one of my fave beadstores, which was like... 2 minutes from this workplace, 3 if you counted the streetlamp. When I got back, he was back. He decided to eat out too. Seems like I could have had lunch for an hour or so.

Then he decided he should leave (he was always, *always* running up and down like some batshit crazy caged animal), and leave all up to his co-worker or whatever, a girl who just arrived. She was nice. Real nice. We talked. She came, sat beside me and she talked while I packed away stuff.

And I was able to leave nearly on time... Although we talked nearly for an hour afterwards. ^^

And when I was leaving the frikkin construction workers started singing to me and tried to flirt. I pretty much ignored them, but it still made me... eugh...