I'm NOT ok

And the last of my general update...

Doc visit. He of course refused to divulge any important details about my bloodwork. He suggested I come during his private practice hours. I suggested I was here now and I had yet not been paid to spend way too much for services I am entitled to for free.

At the end I had to beg him to feel my neck. Guess what? He found a "lump"! Gasp!! Who would have thought?

His reaction: Oh, dear! Doesn't it hurt?

My reaction: well yes, this is why I came, actually.

I had to beg him to find what was wrong with me!!

His comment: well, it's not causing the weight gain.

Duh. I have lost 4kg so far this month. Care to guess where I want him to shove it?

And then I had to go and get an appointment for a neck ultrasound. The assistant was chatting with some woman so after 5 minutes I asked nicely if she could maybe give me an appointment while chatting. They both looked at me like I murdered someone and the assistant told me she couldn't give me an appointment because there were none (wtf??) and that I need to go to *insert faraway address here*.

I'll have to call tomorrow or go back in tomorrow and get an appointment.

And damn right I cursed the bitch.

Bottom line: either a tumor or goitre.

Fuck.

Just my luck

Second part of the update.

Last week I was running to my bus stop and there was a guy lying on the ground, someone has already called the ambulance and a bit after I arrived there the ambulance arrived. But then the bus arrived too so I did not wait to see what would happen.

Yesterday I was on my way home, it was about 22:30 when I got off of the tram and lo and behold, another guy lying on the ground, someone already called an ambulance and just as I walked over to the other side of the street to go to my bus stop (that would get me home) the ambulance arrived.

It really wasn't like this when I imagined guys tripping over themselves and falling flat on their faces in their haste to adore me. :P

And talking about men...

Yesterday I had my chance ogling that guy, who I think looks like a young and more handsome Agent Smith.

He has a bit of Sylar in him too.

Yup. When we little hobbits got transferred to Middle Earth, I ended up sitting facing him. His computer and my were back to back. Not sure me chatting with a... well... not exactly unattractive guy and he adoring me made him like me if at all, but hey.

(My new hire PC mate, because we didn't have enough computers and had to share. He nearly smooched me when I agreed to cover for him when he wanted to leave an hour earlier, because I was staying till 22:00 anyway. He almost smooched me! I'm not kidding! I almost jumped through the roof.)

And yes.

Smith/Sylar is hot.

And of course our Middle Earth has a Legolas too. He is the legendary guy who sent out 300 letters in 8 hours once when he got pissed with the lost password letters.

He looks like a young Will Turner... with dreadlocks. He is hot. Not really my type. But hot nonetheless. I know someone who would be totally over him. Of course he is way too young.

But Agent Smith/Sylar? Waaaay out of my liege. Sadly. But my, he is hot.


Oh and also, the two hot guys from my university are also there. The hot tech guy I might have blogged about? The blond one. My, but he has grown... and yeah, he is still very yummy. (If I remember correctly, he was pretty but... uhm... a bit dumb. But a very nice guy.)

And the brown haired one? Still as much of an asshole as he is hot. He turned away from me first, when I wanted to ask if he was indeed who I thought he was, so I turned my nose up and refused to look back when he stared at me later. From his half-smile I know he recognized me. But I shall not give him the chance to be an asshole to me again. His personality sucks. Period. And it doesn't pique my interest. So that shall tell you folks something, because I usually like annoying, prideful (brain worth the pride ofc) jerks.

And I want Smith. He is hot. And those lips... I wonder why he dresses so smartly. There is no dress code...

And today he caught me staring. He stared back. Twice. ^^ I'm hoping he will come and ask me why I'm staring so much. (I'll prolly tell him he looks like Sylar and Agent Smith's love child.)

Oh and to anyone who is worried about my love life: don't. I'm not gonna get a bf from there. I'm way too twisted and antisocial for that to ever happen. Not to mention I value my free time. I'm just staring a lot and enjoying the view. :P

General update

There are so many things I need to blog. I shall break it down to 3 parts or so.

Like that we got banished to Middle Earth, as our older members, trainers, whoever like to call it. We work in a huge, L shaped room. Well, it's a mirrored L, but whatever. We work in the end, we who deal with general support emails.

Middle Earth houses the tech guys (who get all kinds of shit forwarded to them and they always send it back to us, oh joy), the chat guys, who seem to be permanently stuck on fast forward and whatever they might be smoking, I want some too.

So... New letter handling system, total chaos, the bosses are at each others' throat and we, poor little general supporters, got stuck with about 5 PCs and 1200 letters a day. Let me tell you, the new system sucks and is slow and we sure as hell can't handle this.

It's total chaos. Today I did nothing but sit with 4 otehr new hires at ONE frikkin PC and we solved some letter, routed and well... generally did stuff.

Since I finished work at 22:00 yesterday and started today at 8:00 sharp, I was deadly tired (think I got 5 hours of sleep or so). So I told the guys to poke me if someone was coming or if I was snoring

From noon till 1 in the afternoon I remember almost nothing. :D

And before noon I snuck out to get my watch fixed, which took about 20-30 minutes, but still. Sometimes it rocks. But mostly it's pure stress and I really really am not gonna pull another almost non-sleeper again anytime soon.

Hello, weekend. Bye, weekend.

So far, my time was spent chatting with the aunt I hate. I had to. Family event. On the weekend I waited so much to have.

Then I fainted into bed and had some much needed sleep.

And now I'm crying like a little girl because two people bailed on me from going to the huge yearly Plant fest that's not all about plants. I have been planning this for two weeks now. I have been looking forward to this for weeks!

My mom bails on me after weeks of planning, because my aunt asked her to go to a museum with her instead. My friend bails on me because of the entry fee.

Thanks. If I knew this, I would have invited one of my coworkers to have some fun together.

I was so looking forward to this weekend and now I would have to go alone! Where is the fun in that? Where?!

I have been working without complaints, dressing up like an Eskimo to ward off the fucking AC, fainting into bed each night, counting the days till the Plant fest. Thanks a bunch folks, really.

Make my day, will you?

Second day in the pits, as I affectionately call the second floor, the place I work at the moment.

I couldn't document my very first day, because I quite literally fainted into bed last night. I slept a not even remotely sound 9 hours. Ever since I started this job I have been unable to sleep soundly. I wake up every now and then, dream a lot of little pieces, like a broken kaleidoscope. I usually run, hide or have work related problems that I have to solve, or else...

Anyway, I love the AC, I really do. When the sun shines on the building, the AC dies and it's hot. When the sun doth not shine and it's cold outside, the AC is on full blast and we freeze to death.

The customers can't spell or tell us what exactly their problem is. It's like they forgot their brain in the other car or something.

Today I got 2 fuck you letters. The idiot forgot to check his subscription for a number and of course it has expired long ago and already belonged to someone else. Then he has harassed the woman who had it so she offered to give it up for him... but due to company policy we could not hand it back just like that. Why? Because people would use this to abuse this and pose as the person who just stopped using said number.

But of course our asshole does not have a brain and can't understand this. Sometimes I wish I could write in plain English and tell assholes like that bluntly why we do what we do.

Course I would love to tell him where to stick it too, but oh well.

Otherwise... yay. I'm alive currently.

Soooooooo....

I have lost a total of 3,5kg in the last 2,5 weeks, that I will indubitably gain back during the weekend when I don't have to run around, stressed out like a poisoned mouse. But I hope I will get back to losing weight come next week. The stress I can live without...

I have gone on Thursday, actually, and had my arms waxed, something I never had done before. The hair on my arms was getting annoying, so... bye bye hair.

I wouldn't lie, it hurt. But I didn't scream as I told the beautician I probably would. I only hissed a little. But in the middle my tears started to fall. I was grinning and chatting with the woman and then my crocodile tears began to fall out of the blue. Oh well. Who cares. I'll be back getting tortured in a month or so. ^^

I have also passed 3/4 of the new hire tests. I'm still waiting to see the results for the last one, and I hope... We shall see.

What else? Oh yeah, I'm starting to wear beaded jewelry instead of gemstones and silver. Not because I look cooler... I don't know if I do, but because I just don't feel like gemstones and silver anymore. Doesn't go well with my aura, you could say. :P

I'm still trying to get the hang of this job (it'll take me months to get up to speed and efficiency, as they have already told me), and I hope I will manage to. Ok, I admit it, I'm totally freaked out. But I will try hard to do my best.

Weird and weirder

So... I'm still mostly alive and kicking, although people meeting me in the morning might tell a different story. Some say I look like a zombie. I guess I do. I still refuse to drink coffee, because I do not fancy yet another addiction. (Chocolate is more than enough, and I am trying to keep away from the stuff.)

Still, today a hot guy tried to flirt with me (only smiling and looking, as he was a bit far away) and I ignored him... and realized later he was trying to flirt. *facepalm* Higher brain functions: zero. Booo!

Tomorrow I shall try again, because he is... hot. Formal wear, cashmere coat, looks a bit like Agent Smith, only younger and more handsome. And hey, a little bit of flirting usually doesn't hurt.

Anyway. Here comes the weird stuff.

And I think I should maybe feel ashamed, because I keep listening to music most of my friends would throw up over. You want a list?

• Savage Garden (mostly "I Want You" and "To The Moon and Back" ...and others) (ok, I do sorta feel ashamed... I was in high school when it was still kinda cool... only among girls tho)
• Muse - Supermassive Blackhole (yes, the Twilight baseball music)
• Mutemath - Spotlight (another Twilight music *sigh*)
  
• Black Ghosts - Full Moon (yes! Twilight music!! *facepalm*)
• Jonatha Brooke - What You Don't Know, aka the Dollhouse theme
• Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous Girl (don't ask)
  

I am still wondering what hit me. Although I do listen to my fair share of Morcheeba, and I am NOT ashamed of listening to Aimee Mann's Pavlov's Bell.

Still. What the hell hit me?

If you have any idea, poke me.

Stand still
This time
Close the door
For a moment you are mine

A free day, finally. I can get lazy, lean back, get comfy in my leather armchair, listen to Morcheeba and generally laze about for a bit.

I can also think about certain things. Like would a guy miles and miles and miles away suggest doing the horizontal tango and mean it? If yes, it might result in a summer vacation spent abroad.

But these things can wait, because really, it's my free day and I have already done my patriotic duty and have voted and now I'm just sitting about doing lazy stuff.

Oh and I have already washed my hair too and now it smells like bergamot and apples. Still smells faintly like the perm water, but it's not a bad smell at all. Also, I think my hair is really short this time. But I like it. Suits me just fine.

So it's just jazz (ok, maybe trip-hop), my comfy chair, the scent of bergamot and apples and random thoughts. Rawrrr. Lazyness has its time and place... but it rocks.

Your fortune cookie for today: do something different!

So. My test that I did yesterday was 99%. I forgot to cross out one thing because the girls next to me kept pestering me for answers.

Oh woe me!

Who am I kidding? I have a shit eating grin on my face!
Wrote another test today. I have my fingers crossed.

So... during the dinner break we had lunch with a few of the girls (actually, 2 others) and we used another elevator... and ended up in an unused part of floor 3. It was totally cool. We explored and walked through the glass corridor separating the two parts of the building. We could see through the floor of the glass corridor, which was one level above a little garden with rocks and plants in it and looks totally delicious. Obviously, people are strictly prohibited to walk in that small garden. But it still rocks. It is so pretty!!

And the sun was filtering through the glass walls and I just sort of got totally energized. It was sooo cool!

Oh by the way, we didn't have enough breaks, but I still could meet up with my friend who already works there.

And my team leader is totally cute. Well... not my team leader, per say, but he miiiiight be ours. And he is kind and cute and awesome. He remembers me and always smiles at me. I re~ally like him. In the platonic sense.

And people are nice and kind and don't kick me when I have questions. Granted, they also have bad days, but they are still decent. At least you don't need to smile all the time and backstab. It's so cool!

And yeah, I went to the hairdresser, who chopped off my hair, so it's short again and curly and I am so so so... hyper! I didn't drink or smoke anything, honest!!

Yeah. It's the weekend. Woohoooo, baby! ^^

I want my life back!!

I'm so frikkin wiped it's impossible!

I mean really. I am in there for 8 hours, travel 1 hour to my workplace, travel back another hour and I need an hour to jumpstart my brain and get dressed, get my stuff together, the works.

And then I am home, I make tomorrow's sandwiches and study. And I don't have a frikkin moment to live my life!!!

Yeah, I guess the studying period will pass, but I am really really really tired and I can't get more than 8 hours of sleep because it's impossible. I need a shower every time I get home and I need to wash my hair (usually every day) because I just feel so goddamn dirty. (Especially today, when they threw us in the pits. As in the place agents do their work, agents like us two weeks from now. It's hot and there is almost no oxygen and it stinks like sweat and yesterday's dinner.)

And my head hurts, I haven't done anything today besides work and study and shower and I don't know how people can manage to have a life too or read a book, watch a movie or even exist!

Tell me: how can you pull it off?! HOW?!

about geeks

I've started watching Bones, because it calms me down. Not the "omg, gotta watch it" kind of way, but the "oh, something's on TV" way. And of course I was wondering if Angel was as much of a pouf as he used to be. Well... his way of acting hasn't changed much. He still plays the same kind of men. Eugh.

But anyway, I wanted to talk about the guy who talks about bugs and geeks away in his lab. He is a Geek. With a capital letter. (See picture above.)

And then... he takes off his clothes.

I don't think many geeks look so shaggable with no clothes on (well with a towel on).

Still. Whoa. I didn't see that one coming.

Uncle!!

The new hire training sucks when they are unable or don't care to switch off the air con. I already have caught a cold and I think I also got a nice sinusitis coming on.

No, I do have a budding sinusitis. My head is splitting open and my nose cavities are full. My eyes are grainy and ... well, you know the drill.

I have complained to a woman who was our teacher for the afternoon, but she couldn't do anything.

I am at a loss as to what to do besides complain again on Tuesday. What else can I do so as not to end up in a frikkin hospital??

in the middle of dunno

I am sick. My throat is sore.

My teacher dances (hip-hop) he is the sort of gel-haired douche kind of person that gives me the creeps and he doesn't know much. He knows we don't click. I see it in his eyes.

There are two guys who come from the same university I did. They are both strongly right-wing and kinda creepy. The one who studied history badmouthed every teacher I held dear during my university years... and the teachers I hated as well. But I don't really have anybody else to talk to.

My teacher announced that by 4 in the afternoon everybody is zombified, so we should start our training every day at 8 in the morning. I hope he gets fucked sideways by a very aggressive, very bulky gorilla. Twice. No, thrice.

I bet he never heard about the difference between morning persons and definitely NOT morning persons.

To top it all off there is some sort of ventilation in our room that we are bunched in for the training and the cold air blew on me and now I also sneeze and can't stop blowing my nose.

So far I have not been handled any kind of paper stating I work there, I have not been told how many breaks I will be allowed to have during my shift and generally nobody told me anything about my work besides the thing we do support for. I am not naming it for obvious reasons.

I somehow want to know facts, I wanna get healthy and not to catch another frikkin cold tyvm and generally just be with people who don't badmouth the people I like and don't judge me because of my political views.

I hope tomorrow will go smoothly.

Also, I have lost my plush key-chain toy thingy, a cute green worm. He has been with me to London. I am very sad. The HR girl, who seemed really morose throughout the interviews walked me through both levels and asked people if they saw it. Somehow that cheered me up. She was so kind and it shocked me. Others have told me she was really rude... but she wasn't. I kinda like her for being so nice and friendly. It cheered me up.