Sometimes I just have to ask myself, why do I even bother? I know people. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you yourself are the most important, that I have realized a long ago.

Still, there are places you can see this more clearly than other places. For example a game. When they know you can't see their faces and won't recognize your classmate, the other guy on the last bus home, or your math teacher, they do the most honest things they can. They cheat, break promises, do all the things they would never do when they could be observed.

I would be amused and interested, if it weren't for a shitty day, shitty weak, and the game ruining my mood all the more. It's just so nice when people don't give a shit about you, and fuck you ten times over whenever they can. Guess either guild wars has to go, or my old guild. Right now, I dunno which one, but I don't care.

Friends will go too. Not like they don't know I know they don't give a shit about my existance, but hey, I chose those friends, I can blame only myself. Not to mention that I know they are like that. Maybe I should do them a service free of charge and tell them that yes, they are indeed petty little selfish creatures and not the all empathic all-caring friends they believe they are.

Honestly, it is much more work to nod that yes, you are so empathic, I can feel it, yes, you guessed I'm in pain because an aunt of mine died, suuuure, than saying no, you don't feel chicken poo, you insensitive wench. Deep guess. They never cared anyway.

God, I'm a miserable piece of crap. I should really get myself some new friends or a nice razor or two. I'd laugh at myself if I weren't so terribly depressed.

Raven, you bastard, you sure are taking your time.